putting words to tears that have none

the night is dark (but it took so long to get there)

the night is cold (actually a warm night that should be cold)

the words are not new

they never are

but somehow they feel so sharp

and they hurt so profoundly

i feel no pain

or i don't know what it is

i just hurt

i want to cry

to shed tears for reasons unknown

is this what depression is

(what depression was, when it was, before?)

this is not what depression is now

this shakes

and freezes

and has no

control

it just comes

unbidden

and i cry