they're ganging up on me

it seems

my favorite patrons/ customers/ malingerers/ vagrants (whatever the politically correct/in vogue term for {those people that are constantly coming into the library} is these days…)

and when i say

favorite

that’s not really what i mean

if you know what i mean…

last night, about five minutes before closing, i decided that i had seen just about every one of the most troublesome of the regulars that i regularly encounter at this particular library (even those who i had, quite gratefully, not seen in quite some time) except for one particular family, with the loud fit-throwing children, the intelligence-challenged father, and the reality-challenged mother, who does come in on a very regular basis~and i was more than a little apprehensive to even make this observation as we did still have five minutes left...

Not that it's much of a surprise, but i had come into work with a raging migraine, inflamed allergies (from who-knows-what-allergens), and the remains of whatever virus i'm currently fighting. The first thing i encounter is a man who is apparently calling all the car dealerships in town, attempting to negotiate buying a car over our courtesy phone. Of course our harried mother and my not favorite child are here, and i'm actually too tired to be unfriendly to my not favorite child, so i am treated to her incessant chatter.

When i return from my lunch break, i find the woman who USED to be so enamoured (but also so very, very demanding) of me (and seemed to have lost some of her attraction when i told her i would need to start charge her for printing anything in excess of ten internet pages per week as per management instructions~since all other customers paid for THEIR printing costs~and strongly encouraged her to obtain a library card and start doing her own research as she seemed to be so skilled in instructing someone else how to do it...) sitting in the chair for our handicap accessible online catalog staking out our parking lot. Eventually she went and grabbed a newspaper to hide behind. I never did figure out what she was doing.

Then, in creeps Mr. OldGuitarist, who i also hadn't seen for a while, luckily, there is less than two hours until we close, and he keeps his head down and heads back to the computer room so i will probably not need to interact with him. Then, simultaneously, i watch Ms. OddRecipeRequestWoman enter through one door while Mr. NeedsRapToDownloadToMyIpod enters through the other~i'm really not sure which is worth~both take mucho tiempo y mas paciencia (whoops, sorry, must have slipped a gear there...)

Mr. NeedsRapToDownload makes it up to my desk first (at least he is alone, sans screaming child brats, and whining wife this time). He hands me his card awaiting my service. I look at him questioningly. "We're going look up CDs again," he informs me. "oh, are we, now?" i question myself, wishing the answer could only be something other than what it is.

"Can it only be artist, or can it be by label or something else?"

"Who is the artist?" i avoid the question, not wanting to further prolong the process (although i have searched many, many labels for him in the past.)

He starts scrolling through his Ipod and listing names. I start searching artists and listing titles. I place three holds and then he reaches his limit, his "damn" wife has been putting movies on hold (not that i care). For some reason he wants me to continue the now futile exercise of telling him what cds we have in the system by his desired artists though i have told him before and he never remembers and we will go through this again and again...

He tells me he has so many already...

Hmm... (my head screams)

He laughs, "buying them is just not an option at $15 bucks a pop just to put them on the Ipod,"

Hmm...(head banging~and not in any musical way~should i play sympathetic~mention the illegality of it all~just wait for it to be over~i opt for that last one...)

This goes on for about fifteen minutes, OddRecipeRequestWoman leaves, he finally leaves, time for me to start closing up. I walk back to the computer room, tell everyone they have about five minutes left, some women actually shouts "HELP!" from about one foot away.

I sigh. She has inserted her computer access card into the disk drive. Just another night.

I am the first person in the library this morning. There was some kind of drug deal going on in the parking lot when i got here, or so it appeared. I ignored it. When i walked in the phone was ringing. Odd because, we didn't open for another hour. It was a call for the health department (we started getting all their calls at our circ desk yesterday afternoon, because somehow they were forwarded here~we thought they had stopped at about five p.m but probably it was just after hours). The fifth call was someone from the health department calling some one's extension in environmental health, he said he would try to get it taken care of. When i called the county phone system guy he said we WEREN'T getting the health department's calls.

oh well, must have just been my imagination (and the imaginations of all my coworkers...)