Showing posts with label patient zero. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patient zero. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

a trip to the vet...

We were off to our vet appointment today (well three of us were off, since Dixie seems to have learned that precognitive skill of sensing beforehand that the vet trip is eminent.) Even though i was able to lure Demetra and Katushka into the bathroom with cat treats and then close the door only to insert them into cat carriers, Dixie was having none of it (nor the promise of food) and hid in the basement. The search for her was futile. So i trundled off the two others to the appointment meant for three. The beasties needed their annual exams and to have their talon-like claws clipped (they will not let me near their paws--amazing how an animal 5%-10% of your body weight can really hold their own against you.) I threaten them with declawing every now and then but i never would as i am morally opposed to it (besides the fact that i refuse to put the 16 year old Dixie under anaesthesia unless absolutely necessary.) I have bought those soft paws things (rubber caps that slip over the claw itself and fall off after six to eight weeks) but not only do you have to trim their claws before you can apply them but you also need them to hold still while you glue them on (what's the point?) I've had groomers tell me that vets can do it for you, and of course the vets tell me that groomers do. Does anyone know anything about the effectiveness of EmeryCat? I'm actually more concerned about my own safety rather than my furniture (although Katushka claws at my kitchen bench incessantly). Dixie claws at the carpet and runs over me with her claws, Katushka also runs over me, and she has a bit of a kneading problem. Demetra has a major kneading problem because she was weaned too early (but she always using her scratching post.)

As if you cared for any of the above detour, back to my story: I asked Herr Doctor if Demetra has gained weight just because her sides seem to be buldging a teensy bit (can i stress teensy?) I probably wouldn't have even noticed if Demetra had not been a short-haired cat, unlike her sisters (Katushka once lost 25% of her weight without my note until the vet weighed her.) So Herr Doctor tells me that she has gained a little and then proceeds to tell me that she needs to go on a diet (a little difficult with three cats who don't care whose food they eat), that i need to brush her back better because she probably can't reach around to groom herself (little does he know i rarely brush any of them), and that she has possibly lost the fur underneath her chin due to her neck size increasing rather than some kind of reaction to her collar. I wonder if he would have even come up with this theory if i hadn't brought it up (she had hissed at the vet tech, something she never does~maybe she was unhappy with being called fat) it's not like the animal is obese, just a little pudgy.
Cats all bundled up and in the car i make a quick visit to the liquor store next to the vet (it was a five minute trip and cool and cloudy outside.) Had a major attack of vertigo while in the liquor store, shaking, swaying, waving vision (and i'm sure as i stumbled out of the liquor store a few assumptions were made.) My mother claims it was the act of being in the liquor store~maybe it was bad Karma for leaving the kids in the car~in actuality i believe it was just a relapse.)
Got into the car and had a lens fall out of my glasses (which rendered me completely unable to see.) Called mom to let her know she might need to come pick us up. So, with shaking hands, after about ten minutes got the lens back in. Drove like a little old lady until i got about a block away from my house where i ran out of gas. Had to call mom to rescue us, and then carry the animals in once i got home I'm sure they were wondering what the hell was going on when their trip home was much longer and confusing than it usually is. Needless to say the trip home from the vet was not the most enjoyable adventure...

Thursday, April 08, 2010

in the er

There i was, sitting ever so calmly at the reference desk, horrible migraine had not yet kicked in when i started to get really dizzy (even though i was sitting still in my chair.) About 10 minutes later my vision started shaking (seeing double because everything was moving so fast, as i'm trying to convince myself that this is just a new migraine symptom that i will have to get used to), 10 minutes later i completely lost my sense of balance and was falling (making other people walk back to the computer room because i was unable to.) At this point my manager was wanting to call 911 but i didn't want to pay for an ambulance. Started shaking uncontrollable, had my mom come get me (my manager and a coworker were on either side of me, supporting me, escorting me to the car and i still fell). Had to be wheeled in on a gurney and they did a cat scan thinking i may have had a stroke.
My mom came into the ER with me, which i never let her do because i'm an adult and can handle myself (plus i don't always appreciate her interrupting to clarify or add to what i'm talking, but i wasn't feeling all that capable at the moment. Triage asks me the usual "What medications have you taken lately and i try to go through what my memory allows but words don't come easily to my tongue (and memory is a little difficult to master as well.)
Laying down doesn't help too much, world still spins. I tell the nurse i just want her to give me something to knock me out. She says "Oh no you don't want that, why would you want it."
"Because i just want to sleep/be unconscious than experience this." Plus i wasn't entirely serious.
Once i'm chatting with the ER doc i remembered that glass of wine i had the night before (heavy partier that i am) and mentioned it to her and she rolled her eyes (like stupid girl, that has no influence on anything,) then i told her that i had smoked a little marijuana for my migraine and nausea which made her decide i was some kind of druggie and that my current problems reaching for words were related to marijuana affecting memory (even though i smoke it only occasionally and never have memory problems at any other time~again she rolls her eyes and says it doesn't matter how much i smoke.) She started grilling me about where i got the weed because of problems with suppliers and i'm thinking "do you know every drug dealer in town and weather there products are pure (and wouldn't they usually not want to lace weed with anything since other drugs are usually more expensive)?"
Then she wanted to know what i'd done in the past even though it's been twenty years or so, i glance at my mom because i really didn't want to subject her to the entire list of my rather extensive recreational history. Doctor says "time for full disclosure."
I run through my list for her (probably missed a few--i think my list includes pretty much everything excluding heroin.) So then she told me i was just having flashbacks or that it was bad marijuana (which seems rather unlikely because i haven't ever had flashbacks and i had already smoked from that same bag.)
Final diagnosis: vertigo. She gives me Valium and tells me to see my neurologist in the morning (and she mentioned how wonderful my neurologist was. The Valium just makes me sleepy (which, i suppose, is not bad, but it didn't help me with much else.
When i stumbled into my regular neurologist's office the next day she said she didn't think it was anything to do with drugs but wasn't too fond of the weed just because it's illegal and you don't know where it comes from and she doesn't want me getting arrested.
The Antivert she gave me was much more effective with the nausea and, somewhat with the dizziness than the Valium. I couldn't walk straight (and constantly fell down) for about three days, and the world didn't stop spinning (along with the accompanying nausea) for about a week and a half. Was bored as hell because i couldn't read and couldn't watch television too well.
Today is my first day back at work, still a little shaky and very little sense of balance, but i am doing much better.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

in the waiting room, or (to quote Elizabeth Grymeston) "I resolve to break the barren soil of my fruitless brain."

so here i am, waiting them to set up the ultrasound machine after my follow-up mammogram came back with wonky, mysterious results (the whole medical mystery thing is something that has been going on all my life and i often wonder if there is more to this whole adoption thing than my parents were ever let in on... or were they?)
The whole results waiting thing is getting a little tedious...
a few thoughts on my waiting room reading...
  • an article about a woman who has chosen to live with the man she loves for the rest of their lives but does not wish to marry (for what is a legal/religious commitment anyway~they don't feel it's necessary). Although i've had a few live-in situations in my life i've come to the conclusion in my old age that, unless there is some legal (such as same-sex commitment~which should be legalized) or financial reason (sometimes senior citizens are better off without marriage) preventing a legal union you really should get married (especially if you have children). This isn't necessarily a moral opinion, but i believe that it makes everything much more tidy in terms of finances, insurance, life decisions, and even, gods forbid, the dissolution of the relationship. Even if a commitment between the two of you is enough, why is marriage so distasteful (and how cranky am i getting???)?
  • obama vs. hilary (convinced of his own fitness for office~he is quite audacious, is he not?) and i suppose he must be so convinced to go up against hil's "experience". I am waffling about which of these two i want to elect (i just want a democrat in there for a change!)
    "Tragedy, in the Shakespearean form that Weisberg seems to cite (although there is nothing tragic about Henry V either), requires self-awareness and at least some level of greatness squandered. The Bush whom Weisberg skillfully and largely convincingly portrays is a man who has rarely reflected, who has almost never looked back, and who has constructed a self-image of strength, courage and boldness that has little basis in the reality of his life. He is driven less by bold vision than by a desire to get elected (and settle scores), less by real strength than by unfocused ambition, and less by courage than by an almost passive acquiescence in disastrous plans that the people he empowered pursued in his name."
    Alan Brinkley's review of The Bush Tragedy by Jacob Weisberg in The New York Times Book Review, March 2, 2008
  • and then there is my ever frequent meditation on and frustration with idiots on the road (i have mentioned my hatred of driving here before {and what is it about traveling to medical appointments that makes it all so much worse?}). But i must say my very biggest pet peeve of all (beyond the sheer stupidity of nearly everyone on the road but me) is honking horns (i once had a friend ticketed by a police officer for excessive use of his horn~he honked at someone at a stoplight and the officer told him the horn is only to be used in cases of severe emergency {tho i must admit, when someone doesn't notice the light has changed after longer, than say, 45 seconds, that does seem like rather an emergent situation...) But i feel almost the same way about horns, nothing will more quickly make me want to doggedly prevent you from reaching your destination than if you honk your horn at me (talk about road rage). I don't often follow through on that impulse (at least not for long). At least i'm not hypocritical about this, it seldom even occurs to me to honk my horn at someone, unless i see my eminent death looming closeby...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

of frogsicles and zombie orb-weaving spiders

I think my original interest in this book came about with my hypothesis that some people (perhaps me in particular) might have stronger immune systems than others simply in the fact that they have weaker immune systems than everyone else. Ultralong oxymoron? Let me try and explain: I seem to have a continual cold (especially in winter) or a cold that comes, gets better for a day or two, and then returns. My mother shows constant concern for this and is always urging me to a doctor (said doctors can never do much~neither can airbourne or Theraflu) but of course i am constantly exposed to the public and every virus that comes their way (basically every virus that comes into our community~especially since those lovely people who are too sick to go into work must come into the library to pick up their movies to keep them entertained at home.) Anyway, i'm known to have a weak immune system, but i sometimes wonder if my immune isn't very strong for fighting off all those viruses it gets and not getting any major complications~perhaps when the major superbug hits i will have already developed and immunity to it because i will have already had one of its original permutations. It's a theory anyway...
Survival of the Sickest: a medical maverick discovers why we need disease isn't quite so much a defense of my theory as it is a rather fascinating study of evolutionary epidemiology (among other things~and perhaps if i had read the subtitle before placing the hold i might have picked up on that~but maybe i read a review and had an entirely different reason for wanting to read the book in the first place~one never knows these things). The medical maverick of the subtitle is Dr. Sharon Maolem (Jonathan Prince is co-credited~a not-so-much ghost writer?) The reading is pretty easygoing, if you are new to the subject area it is incredibly interesting~if you are not new to the subject area there might not be that much new information here but the presentation is such that might still come across a few "a-has" or "I hadn't thought of that one".
His basic premise is that evolution and the climatic conditions of our ancestry contributed to our genetic heritage (perhaps not such a huge intellectual leap) but that the genetic predisposition to certain diseases such as diabetes was an advantage in colder climates such as Northern Europe or Scandinavia where increased sugar levels might be a protection against the cold.
I'm not sure how much of a "maverick" Dr. Moalem is (a Ph. D. in human physiology and in the "emerging fields of neurogenetics and evolutionary medicine"), much of this has been at least postulated before; but he does an excellent job of synthesizing it for the general reader (i enjoyed it anyway.)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

late, lost, ailing, & pissed off

I know i've mentioned that i'm ill (very, very ill, thank you so much for asking~like wishing-i-were-not-alive ill) this week, but have i mentioned that i'm on vacation? Not that i had much planned other than trying to catch up on much needed housework (which, perhaps needless to say i haven't been able to do...) but still...
Anyway, it was so very convenient of me to schedule my vacation just in time for me to be sick (and more than one person has mentioned to me that i could actually take sick time instead of vacation time, which i could, but i with my little rampaging migrainey head, unlike most, have much more vacation time than sick time so it is all for nought...)
And, vacation or no, i was scheduled for a Readers' Advisory training this early morning, teaching one of my Chronic Conditions classes later this morning, and for the government employee sexual harassment/ethical training in the afternoon; there was just no other time to do it. So, this non-morning person drags herself out of her sick/death bed early in the morning to get into her borrowed truck (oh, i didn't mention that my car is in the shop getting its air conditioning, of all things, fixed, now did i? Well it is. The air broke sometime back in July or so and when i heard it was going to cost about $1000 (because the coils had crashed and melted or some such thing) of which i didn't have i decided not to fix it but then last week it started making this horrible whining noise and apparently the car no go without air conditioning so just in time for the cooler weather i get to get it fixed...) As i have mentioned before, i am no fan of driving, and this morning i was turning east right into the sunrise, at a height and an angle where i was unable to see a damn thing. I was rolling down the window in an attempt to see the oncoming traffic when the person behind me honks.
Honking horns are one of my biggest pet peeves in life. I once had a friend who was ticketed because he honked his horn at someone because they did not move quickly enough at a red light. The police officer told him that horns were only to be used in cases of extreme emergency. This is how i feel about horns, and if you honk at me often my biggest priority in life becomes preventing you from getting where you need to be, so think before you honk at that redhead in front of you. But this morning i was frustrated and couldn't see. For some reason i put some faith in the person behinds me and decided that if they were honking at me the way must be clear and i went barreling out into traffic. The way was not clear and i hear screeching tires and more honking horns as i bring traffic to a halt in both directions. I somehow avoided collision (though i realized that if there had been an accident that car behind me would be late to where ever they were going because they would need to fill out witness forms and the like so there would be some good done there.)
Anyhow, as i continue to drive east into the blinding sun, my migraine continues to build and i end up taking the wrong exit to library headquarters which i have, of course, been to many a time. I get lost and wandering some circuitous course through rambling neighboring streets getting ever later to my training. I finally pull into what i hope is an entrance to a parking lot (still being unable to see) go crashing over a few islands, am now twenty minutes late and with a raging headache and finally decide that it is time to call it a wash, turn around and go back home.
I make it to my class without incident.
But then when i try to go to my ethics training there is some kind of Health Fair going on at the government center (i would comment on the irony, but i am in no mood). I drive around and around and around the parking lot looking for parking but to no avail. When i finally find i spot and run to class i have been locked out. Of course when i walk back out to my car there is parking everywhere.
It is back to bed for me...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Well now, fine Mr. Fiennes, looks like you and i will have to have a serious little sit-down...

Here's something i might not have mentioned here before: one day i plan to marry Ralph Fiennes~now there are a few minor obstacles in that particular road~perhaps the largest of which is that i have never met the man, but what would life be without its challenges?

Now i realize that proclaiming a public figure you have yet to meet your future intended might sound just a touch insane or some may more kindly call it obsessive but i can assure you i do have my more obsessive and less sane tenancies firmly in check~in fact i rarely mention His Name~except to maybe now and again mention my intention to one day marry the man~hey if you want to call that an obsession or slightly crazy i guess i can’t stop you.

But now we are brought to another obstacle, perhaps major, perhaps minor, depending upon your perspective or your judgement of my relative sanity. A dear friend (who is much more up on Hollywood gossip than i was kind enough to forward me the tale of a poor little stewardess who told of a rather lustful and lecherous Mr. Fiennes who had the audacity to follow her into the plane lavatory and try to force himself upon her. To which her most logical and believable response was:

"Oh, why no sir, this is most inappropriate, i really must ask you to stop."

(this is, of course, how i would respond to such a situation~anyone who knows me~especially anyone who Knew me back in those hazy, crazy club kid days of my twenties~please remain silent)

After repeated protestations, the stewardess left the lavatory, followed by a disheveled Mr. Fiennes, observed by her colleagues.

This, of course, resulted in her dismissal.

Apparently, believe it or not, that wasn't quite what REALLY happened, after she had her initial taste of the media the stewardess came out with a bit of a different (and much, much longer) tale and here's that blow by blow (by blow by blow)~was she taking notes for what she was sure would be future publication???) i added a little extra linkage just to Fiennesse it up a bit.

Air stewardess: secrets of my five-mile high sex romp with Ralph Fiennes

By JO KNOWSLEY in Sydney

Last updated at 21:12pm on 17th February 2007

Qantas stewardess tells how she fell for Hollywood star in Seat 2K...and how after a mad, passionate fling he abandoned her to face the sack...

The attraction had been immediate and overwhelming from the moment they first made eye contact.

But as Qantas stewardess Lisa Robertson leaned over towards Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes to offer him a drink, she could not have imagined how the evening would unfold - or that she would end up in a passionate tryst with him in the aircraft lavatory.

When rumours first emerged that Ralph Fiennes joined the Five Mile High Club in the business-class lavatory on flight QF123 from Darwin to Bombay, Qantas issued a statement from Lisa vigorously denying the allegation.

But The Mail on Sunday can now reveal the truth about what happened that night - how the English actor had unsafe sex with the 38-year-old Australian stewardess on the flight and went on to seduce her in an evening of almost non-stop love-making at his lavish hotel in India.

Speaking for the first time, exclusively to The Mail on Sunday, Lisa, a former high-flying police officer, said: 'It's true. We did make love on the plane that night. At first I denied it because I was so desperate to keep my job and I didn't want to hurt Ralph.

'I know some people will think it's disgusting. And I'm not proud of what I did - it was inappropriate behaviour. But I don't regret it. Ralph is gorgeous and the chemistry between us was amazing. What woman wouldn't want to make love with him? This sort of attraction happens to people all the time. It's just not usually with a Hollywood star at 35,000 feet.

Although Lisa makes no bones about having been an enthusiastic participant in the unedifying episode and is clearly still thrilled to have attracted the attention of an international film star, it is hard not to see her also as his victim.

Despite her tall, trim figure, there is sadness in her eyes, highlighted by the medication she takes for depression since she left a tough front-line job as a detective with an elite New South Wales police drugs squad.

One can't help asking whether Ralph Fiennes didn't spot a vulnerable woman, use her, and then abandon her to face the sack from her job with Qantas.

Lisa recognised the 44-year-old star of films including The English Patient from the minute she went to his window seat 2K to offer him a selection of champagne, orange juice and water.

And she admits she was star-struck. He was dressed casually in beige chinos and a long-sleeved shirt, and as he quietly asked for a glass of water she gushed: 'Oh my God, it's you. I am such a fan of your films. I love your work. I've seen The English Patient 20 times.' She recaptured her composure and added: 'I'm so sorry. This is so unprofessional of me.'

Fiennes, however, looked relaxed and amused.

'He leaned forward, gazed deep into my eyes and stroked my arm as if to reassure me,' said Lisa. 'He whispered, 'It's OK. Anyway, I think you're gorgeous.'

She admits: 'I felt overwhelmed. I felt like you do when you're a teenager. My heart was pumping with excitement. We kept looking at each other and giggling. He was just so gorgeous. I noticed he had lovely soft skin, beautiful hands and wonderful eyes.
'I expected him to be aloof. But he was just so nice. He had a strange kind of vulnerability about him. For the rest of the evening, although I was working on the other side of the cabin, we kept looking at each other. He was watching me serve drinks, staring intensely. He didn't have a meal and drank only a couple of glasses of Shiraz.

'But every time I looked up I saw that he was watching me. We were seriously flirting across the cabin, which is not like me. I've served a lot of famous people, including Shane Warne and Ian Thorpe, and I'm not usually like that at work.'

Lisa, who is divorced, continued with her duties, serving the evening meal before the cabin lights dimmed. There were only 12 passengers in business class that night.

Then, as she was preparing to go on her break, Fiennes made an unexpected suggestion. Lisa said: 'We had chatted a bit about India - where I've been five times - and his movies.

'When I told him I was going for a break, he said, "I might come and visit you for a chat, if that's OK." I was a bit surprised, but also thrilled. I said, "Sure."'

Lisa admits she was smitten by the star, but says she did not make the first move and had no thought of what might happen next.

It was 11pm and most of the other passengers were asleep. Lisa retired behind the curtained crew area, next to the cockpit, took off her shoes and put her feet up. But moments later she was interrupted by Fiennes.

'I'm sorry, were you sleeping?, he said. 'No,' she replied. 'Come in and take a seat.'

Lisa is not proud of what happened next, but she found Fiennes 'irresistible'. 'At first we just chatted,' she said. 'He sat really close to me. He told me he was learning lines for a new movie with Colin Farrell, playing the part of a gangster. He said he was practising his cockney accent.

'I asked him to give me an example. He did and it was really good. I told him again that The English Patient was just the best movie, but he said, 'That was over ten years ago. Why don't people value my later work?'

'I apologised and said I didn't mean to offend him. I guess we talked for about an hour about lots of different things. He thought it was funny that I lived alone with my dog, a Lhasa Apso-poodle cross called Finn.'

Fiennes told Lisa he was touring Indian villages for Unicef to talk about AIDS awareness. He asked what she would be doing in Bombay, where she was staying, and said, 'Do you want to meet up?'

Stunned and deeply flattered, Lisa said: 'Yeah. That would be cool.'

By this point they were sitting so close their faces were just inches apart. Lisa said: 'He held my hands. Then he started kissing me. The kissing was very passionate and his hands were all over me. I just melted.

'He was caressing my neck, holding my head and he started undoing the buttons on my dress. The way he was going, he would have made love to me right there.

'I was very turned on and so was he. I had butterflies in my stomach. I was touching his face and his hair. He had beautiful skin. I was undoing his shirt as well. It was a bit surreal, like a scene from one of his movies.

'But I was afraid my supervisor might pull back the curtain and catch us. Eventually, I couldn't bear it any longer. I just grabbed his hand and said, "Come in here a minute."

'By this time, we had half our clothes off and I didn't care about anything. I led him into the cabin lavatory next to where we had been sitting and locked the door.

'Ralph was a great lover. And I thought if I was going to get the sack, it would be worth it. I knew it was against the rules and wrong but I didn't care.

'I was a bit shocked that he didn't wear a condom. Looking back, I think of it as dangerous behaviour and
hypocritical given that he was going to India to talk about AIDS.

'He asked me, "Have you ever done this before?". I said, "No, never." I asked him the same question and he said, "No."

'The only strange thing was that he kept his eyes open the whole time, staring at me intensely, although we were kissing madly.
'I realised that people would miss me and wonder where I was as my break was almost over. I told him we had to get out of there quickly.

'I helped him get dressed and he told me that when he got out of the toilet he would press his call button to distract the other flight attendants so that I could leave.

'But a male member of staff saw Ralph come out of the toilet and he saw me lock the door after Ralph. When I came out, the member of staff was still there. I prepared to get back to work but the cabin manager wanted a word with me. She asked, "Did you go into the toilet with a male passenger?"

'I said, "No." But she said three people saw me do it. She told me I had crossed the line and that she was going to report me when we got back to Sydney.

'Ralph called me over and asked, "Is everything all right?" I told him, "No,"and sat down next to him. He was very concerned, but I downplayed it and said I would sort it out.

'I knew I was in big trouble. I was ordered to spend the rest of the flight working in economy and I was the talk of the other cabin crew. I was able to talk to Ralph again to reassure him that everything was fine. I wanted to see him again in Bombay. I didn't want him to freak out and not call me.'

Even now, almost a month after the incident on January 24, Lisa still seems to find the events surreal. She claims her behaviour was out of character but says: 'I just had no control over myself. I wanted him so much. I couldn't resist him.'

She has had only one other liaison with a man she met while working on a flight - an American with whom she had dinner and later spent a weekend in New York.

'But that was very much out of office hours,' she said. 'Men travelling business class are always coming on to me. They invite me to go for weekends away to lavish locations and nice hotels and give me their cards. But I usually just throw them away.'

Lisa had a sheltered upbringing with her two brothers in the town of Wagga Wagga near Sydney. Her father Graham, a butcher, and her mother Sandra were so protective that she did not have her first sexual relationship until the age of 20 when she went to the New South Wales police academy.

Lisa recalled: 'My mother had cancer when I was 11. She survived but it was traumatic. I never really had time for boys. I was the only girl in the middle of two brothers and I had a lot of responsibility.'

She also had low self-esteem. 'My brothers teased me about being flat-chested, so I've had breast implants. They said I was skinny and gawky. And I hated being 5ft 9in tall. I never felt attractive.'

She married a fellow police officer, John Duncan, and had a high-flying career in undercover drug work and hostage negotiation.

After 14 years her police service ended due to her suffering post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. And her marriage did not survive.

Indeed, she seems wary of men, saying she has been repeatedly exploited by them. 'So many treat you badly,' she said. 'They're just after sex. They're losers.' Ironically, she thought Fiennes was 'so sensitive, so different'.

Only now has Lisa begun to wonder. She has seen last week's reports claiming that he has been dumped by his girlfriend of five months, interior designer Sirin Lewenden, because of his wandering eye, mood swings and constant demands for sex. Their romance began after he split from his long-term partner, actress Francesca Annis.

On flight QF123, however, Fiennes seemed to Lisa an impossibly exotic lover, very different from the men she usually encounters. And while she says she never expected a romance, she didn't hesitate in saying yes when he asked her if he could meet her at his Bombay hotel.

Brimming with anticipation, Lisa stood next to Fiennes before he left the plane so they could talk. 'He was wearing a funny old white hat and a Kathmandu backpack, which made him look very eccentric,' she said.

'I gave him my mobile number and he repeatedly said he would call me. I was sad to see him go. I just wanted to go with him.'

Lisa had been at her hotel - the Grand Hyatt - for only about half an hour when Fiennes called her. He was on his way to his hotel, the Intercontinental, and wanted her to come over.

Lisa said: 'I had a shower, put on a little floral sun dress and my flip-flops. I put on minimum make-up and had a glass of Sauvignon blanc because I was a bit nervous.'

At the Intercontinental she found Fiennes was checked in, under his own name, to room 663, a lavish corner suite on the sixth floor. After calling the room, she was escorted up by security guards.

She said: 'Ralph opened the door with just a white towel around his waist. He said, 'Hi, how are you darling? Come in, I'm just having a bath. Make yourself a drink.'

'He dropped the towel and was wandering around naked. I was laughing, I thought it was hilarious. But I wander around naked a lot at home, so it didn't bother me. He had quite a nice body. It's obvious he's not a gym work-out kind of guy. For a man he's got quite a slender body, but I was attracted to him. It was a luxurious room - better than where I was staying. There was a bottle of red wine with a note on it saying, Welcome Mr Fiennes. I was like a kid in a sweet shop.

'He changed into a casual blue shirt and chinos and asked if I would like to have dinner with him. He'd heard there was a lovely restaurant on the roof. I said that would be great. I'd thought he would just keep me in the room, make love to me and throw me out.

'But it surprised me that he was a gentleman and he was treating this meeting like a real date.

'I wasn't particularly hungry and he doesn't eat much, so we just had snacks and ordered drinks. He had a Martini. There was a pool and the people around it recognised Ralph. He held my hand and had his arm around me, as if I was his girlfriend.

'He had been in Sydney performing a Beckett play and started to recite bits to me. He asked if I'd seen it. I told him it wasn't my kind of thing. I found that part of the date a bit boring.

'He didn't mention he had a girlfriend. I said I knew he went out with a famous actress, Francesca Annis, and that they'd broken up. He said, 'Yeah, it's been a bad year.'

'From his look of sadness and vulnerability, I guessed he was still in love with her. It was obvious that he was single and struggling with it.

'We had a couple more drinks. I spoke to him about The English Patient and asked him to say that line, 'It's a really plum plum' when the nurse is feeding his character the fruit. He did and I was thrilled. We went back to his room and I suggested we crack open the bottle of red. I poured us a glass each. He put on a DVD - Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels - which he said he was watching for research.

'I sat on the end of the bed. He came over, put his wine by the bed, threw off the top sheet and took off his clothes. I undressed at the same time. There was no conversation and in no time we were kissing and right into it.'

According to Lisa, they made love twice more through the evening - once in the middle of the night. But he told her, before they went back to sleep: 'I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to kick you out in the morning. I've got a lot of calls to make and things to do.'
Lisa said: -I felt fine about that. I understood but I was disappointed.

'I wasn't under any illusions that this would be the start of a romance. He is an upper-class Englishman and I knew it would be just about sex. But I thought we could keep a friendship and that we might make love when he visited Sydney.'

Lisa was woken at 7am by the sound of a mobile phone ringing, followed by Ralph talking. She said: 'He was sitting at the end of the bed. When the call ended he turned around and started kissing and cuddling me. We made love for about 20 minutes. It was excellent, really nice.

'But then he said, 'I'm going to have to kick you out now.' Just before I got out of bed, he said in a sincere, gentle voice, 'Lisa, I really like you.'

'I didn't even have a shower. I just went into the bathroom, tied my hair back and put on my flip-flops. He said, 'See you on the next Qantas flight,' to which I said, 'You will never fly Qantas again.' And he said, 'Oh yes I will.'

'He walked me to the door and kissed me and said, 'Goodbye, darling.' The casual way he said it was like he would see me next week.

'I had mixed feelings as the door closed behind me. I hoped he would call me again. I understood he had Unicef commitments but I was going to be in Bombay for two days, so I hoped he would find time to squeeze me in for another quick love-making session - or even a phone call. When he didn't call I realised I had to get over it. He was never going to.'

Lisa met her flight crew for drinks and confided in one friend, a pilot, what had happened. But she was horrified to learn that everyone seemed to have heard her making love with Fiennes in the lavatory. She says some of the girls were envious and giggled, saying: 'I wish it had been me.'
But Lisa knew her supervisor had reported her. 'I knew I was in big trouble,' she said. On January 26 she flew back to Sydney, where she was told by her management company, airline services contractor Morris Alexander Management, that she had been suspended without pay pending a disciplinary hearing.

On the advice of a lawyer she tried to make contact with Fiennes, leaving an urgent message at the Gate Theatre in Dublin, which had been behind his Beckett performances in Sydney. Within a few hours he called.

Lisa said: 'I told him I was in a lot of trouble and that I had been suspended from work. There was silence at the other end. I told him people had seen us leaving the toilet, but all he said was, 'Nothing happened.' He kept saying, 'We weren't in the toilet.' I told him I couldn't deny it. I said I had to answer the allegation.

Fiennes' reply, when it came, shocked Lisa to the core. She said: 'It was clear he was turning his back on me. He said, 'We don't know each other very well. I'm very sorry, I can't get involved. I can't help you.'

'I was desperate and suggested we said I was doing something like helping him with a contact lens. But he wouldn't agree.

'Then he told me, I've been scarred by an incident about a year ago when my life was dragged through the tabloids. My whole relationship was destroyed. It's ruined my life. You're just a hostess and you don't even like your job. You're not happy in your job. You can get another job.'

'I felt humiliated. It was like talking to a different person. He made me feel like a low-life, like I was asking him for money or something. Then he said, 'Let's have no further phone contact. I'll call you in a month's time, just to show you I'm a human being.' I was stunned.

'I told him, 'You're right. In the big scheme of things, it's not that important. It's just a job. If I do lose my job, it was worth it.'

'I ended the conversation on good terms, but I was angry and disappointed at his attitude and uncaring lack of support and sympathy.

I expected him to take some responsibility for our problem which suddenly became my problem.

'I thought about resigning to protect him. I felt sorry for him because of the speech he made about what he'd been through with the British papers. But I was frightened, I was depressed, I felt completely alone and I had no support.'

The betrayal evoked bitter memories of Lisa's troubled past. On leaving the police, she sued the force for lack of care over her mental health problems, but lost the case and was driven into bankruptcy.

She briefly studied law at James Cook University in Cairns, Australia. Then she met a stewardess and thought the job sounded fun. But the hard work and long hours did nothing to ease her depression, for which she still takes medication.

Now, after her fling with Fiennes, she is alone and faces losing her job. Her family have been critical of her and over the past week, since the story first emerged, their communication has been punctuated by fierce rows.

Now Lisa is even more wary of men. 'I've never been lucky in love,' she said. 'I just choose the wrong people. My last relationship, with an Italian flight steward, ended in June.'

Yet bizarrely she insists that, given the chance, she would make love to Fiennes in the lavatory again. 'It must sound crazy,' she said, 'but I wouldn't miss that experience for anything.'

She has convinced herself that Fiennes did care for her, however briefly, and that 'the experience was a lot more than just about sex'.

Does she feel used? 'No,' she insisted. 'We were both fantastically attracted to each other. I am sure he cared about me.

But she pauses, twisting a ring on her finger, as if for the first time considering the more brutal alternatives. 'Then again, she said, he is a very good actor.'

And she concedes that she was stung by his failure to support her story about the contact lens. It was a lie that might have helped her keep her job. 'I am upset by his betrayal,' she said. 'He is a millionaire movie star and I'm a struggling air hostess on £12,000 a year. I have financial problems and nothing to fall back on.

'He could have written a letter giving a version of events which the airline would have been forced to accept.

'What will I do now? Who knows? But I will bounce back. I always do. Maybe I'll finally take some time out to find out what I want and who I am. I should have done that years ago.'

Oh poor, poor Lisa the sky hostess, seduced and abandoned. And she thought she knew him so well...

Now is there anything to be said about that? Did anyone besides me manage to get through the entire text (did anyone besides me care to)? She certainly got a great deal of mileage out of that one. And is it just a british thing to call [something that is clearly not making love] "making love"? How do you get to be 38 years old and still not get it when you're getting it? And did she really expect him to call her let alone come to her rescue like a knight in shining armour? Sex is just Sex baby. Sometimes being unlucky in love (over and over again) equals being stupid in things that are not love. Okay, maybe enough snarkyness from me for the moment.

And how might i behave differently given the circumstances? (well given i am not a stewardess~i would probably not be fired for such an offense) but otherwise i might just keep my mouth shut as it does not shed the best of light on either party. Secondly, i am not quite as star-struck as dear Lisa (and i doubt its the whole two years of age i have on her) i've met a fair number of stars and i certainly wouldn't GUSH over and over again about the film i saw twenty times.

(Personally i fell in love with the ACTING talent of Mr. Fiennes displayed first for a mass audience in his phenominal potrayal of Amon Goth (a true man of evil~and Ralph should have won that best supporting Oscar he was nominated for, damnit!) in Schindler's List and not the rather over-hyped and over-mentioned The English Patient, though of course i own every film he has made, i would NEVER request that he repeat the lines for me, however i would appreciatively listen to something he wanted to recite to me or whatever he was interested in at the moment~tho I never found Becket boring... okay verging on absessive and insane~back to reality...)

In all fairness to my man i must include his side of the story through the official statement of his publicist:

'Ralph Fiennes 'seduced by stewardess'

SYDNEY: British actor RALPH FIENNES was seduced by an Australian flight attendant who acted as a "sexual aggressor" during a long-haul flight to India.

The statement contradicted the version of events put forward by Qantas stewardess LISA ROBERTSON, who said that Fiennes had become amorous with the 38-year-old blonde after pursuing her into a business-class toilet cubicle.

"She initiated the encounter," the actor's publicist SARA KEENE said. "This woman seduced him on a plane. She was the sexual aggressor.

"Yet she said in her official statement (to Qantas) that he had initiated it... and virtually accused him of forcing himself upon her."

"Of course he could have said no. The point I am making is that she initiated it. He didn't force himself upon her." Robertson was suspended from duty after colleagues complained about her behaviour during the January 30 flight from Darwin to Mumbai.

In her defence, Robertson told her employer that the 44-year-old movie star had become "amorous" after the pair chatted together and that he had followed her into the toilet."I explained to him that this was inappropriate and asked him to leave. Mr Fiennes became amorous towards me and, after a short period of time, I convinced him to leave the toilet, which he did," she said.

Keene refused to comment further on what had taken place between Fiennes, the star of The English Patient and Schindler's List, and the air stewardess."I never comment on his personal life. I wouldn't comment on his actions," she said.Fiennes is currently in Belgium to shoot a movie with COLIN FARRELL and has refused to speak to the media about the mile-high scandal.

So there you go.

I got onto the internet today intending to research sinus infections because i think there's a possibility i may have one. Yes, i'm sick again, this one came on sudden and ugly and i was hoping it would leave suddenly too~so far no luck. I have discovered tho that dropping a tablet of Airborne® into the excessively (my ex-boyfriend says it tastes like hot lemonade i say hot salted BITTER~and not in a good way~lemonade) nasty-tasting TheraFlu® does mitagate the taste somewhat.

okay, so i drifted off on a tangent there but, instead of discovering the answer to this question of sinus infection i got ensnared in this sex scandal, so when my mom called to inquire about my health i had to relate the story to her, and after reminding her who Mr. Fiennes was (she not being a big film fan) and debating the whole he said/she said thing i asked if she didn't agree with me that it was rather unseemly behavior for my future husband (well, actually, my VERY conservative, very, christian mother thought a great deal less of it than that). And, as i was wondering why i find myself getting into these type of conversations with my mother to begin with, there was also this little insane, obsessive voice in the back of my head begging the question "What about when i do bring Ralph home and my mother says, 'Now What was the deal with that stewardess..."

Now i know we all have needs to be met (trust me~i'm definitely not one to be throwing any stones) and there isn't any ring on your finger (YET) but you know, Ralphie boy, you and i really must do some chatting about your public image if nothing else and how a little bit of discretion can go a long way (tho i really wouldn't want to scare you away too soon.)