time may change me

but i can’t trace time.

earlier it was:

Just can't today
All I want to do is listen to Bowie and


stare into the darkness, obliteration, and cruelty of time.

now it’s just:

“Planet Earth is blue.

And there's nothing I can do.”

 

There are not a million stories in the naked city.

 There is only one story, but a correct translation cannot be unanimously agreed upon and no one can believe the ending, so it is in a constant state of being retold.

wildest places

in no particular order (except my own...)

• underneath the lifeguard tower on Silver Strand Beach while the grunion were running

fifth floor balcony, student services building

car in mom's driveway (Wade and the gearshift)

car in mom's driveway (Brooke)

tent with First Love's mom knocking on the canvas

tent with four other people sleeping, unaware, no indication beforehand, no speaking, no further awknowledgement

in my bed but with the random poker guy who stopped by looking for "Bud"

men's bathroom at Twelve Oaks (with White Magic)

men's bathroom at The Deerhunter (with the gay bartender)

women's bathroom at The Pie (with that mohawk guy)

in the drug deal room (Black Magic)

balcony at Plastique

boat that we had broken into on the Great Salt Lake

apartment hallway because we were locked out

underneath upstairs pool table at The Zepher

driving and parked on 6th South and 3rd east (and in the Avenues)

on the picnic table outside the youth hostel

Mark's bathroom (John)

It'sComplicatedLoveYouInMyOwnWayRelationship's bathroom (with his best friend)

John's Dad's Bar's bathroom

Clete's car (but not Clete)

gravel at the desert show (Roger)

Dave V's car at the desert show

what-his-name's living room floor (did either of us even know who's house we were in?)

Tammy's back yard

Kurt's rec room floor

(bathrooms seem to be popular~don't they?)

small acts of betrayal

With one man i was

Walking down the sidewalk, towards the cafe, a small group of alternatives stood on the sidewalk and he pulled me aside to let me know that it was "each man for himself" (no chivarly involved.) I didn't need a knight in shining armour, but he didn't have to say so.

and with another

After the night of acid-induced wandering, while the cops were drunk-testing the drunken driver, he whispered, "our apartment's just right there, we could sneak out of the car, walk home and leave our friends far behind. I don't want to go down for this."
(no loyality involved.)

NightDepths

"I need you to really feel the twist of my back breaking"

~Eurythmics

As he slams into her she feels waves of cold pass through her body. A thrust, a jolt of pain, and chills run across her skin, she can’t remember his name. She wants to know his name, she wants to hear him say hers. She lets out her breath, lets out a noise, tries not to speak but does, “Tell me you love me.”
The cold is her body now. Something slight, a whisper in her ear, “. . . love you.” Shards of ice slice through her frigid flesh. She screams with something more and something less than pain.
He rises and is off the bed, out of reach. She sinks further into the darkness, into the cold, and is consumed by the death that she feels.