little ways to annoy me

1. snowing on my car (which is in my carport, after all)
2. refusing to let me into your lane even though there is room for you to either speed up OR slow down (i mean how much harm does it really cause you?)
3. make a right turn from the left lane or a right turn from the left lane (when both are clearly marked.)
4. riding my bumper and when i move forward to allow you space getting back on it (if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair...) Were you not in Driver's Ed the day they discussed the amount of car lengths you were to allow between you and the car in front of you? I might just allow my car to roll backwards...
5. running your red light causing me to slam on my brakes in my green light
6. honking at me once you've decided i need to turn into traffic (i know how fast my car moves as well as its capabilities, and it is my decision to make how reckless i want to be at any given moment...) or if i don't advance on the green light the millisecond it changes (i once had a friend pulled over and ticketed for just such an action~the officer told him the horn was only to be used for emergencies and that didn't quite qualify.) In fact honking at me at all (except in an afore mentioned emergency when my course of action might kill me or you (or our respective cars) might just annoy me to the point where keeping you from your destination becomes my greatest mission in life (can we say road rage?)
7. honking (those quick little beeps to let someone know you're just driving by their house or those long annoying ones to let your roommates know you've just arrived home, or those long annoying ones to tell someone to come out to the car, perhaps after ten minutes or so of repeated honking you might want to go inside to see what's keeping them) next door to my own house especially when i am critically migraining in my living room. And honking your horn repeatedly outside a public library to tell someone inside the library to come out is completely unacceptable (do you get the idea i am not overly fond of horns? I am also no hypocrite, i never use mine {except in emergency situations of course...})
8. asking me what i did to my (slinged) arm. I have no idea (my collar became mysteriously fractured {though the doc did suggest it was my multiple personality acting up}), i have a nerve infection, and possibly something else which requires a very expensive MRI.) Not that you would know that but i am wearying of the entire fiasco...)
9. and yes it hurts
10. telling me to smile, i will smile when i damn feel like it, don't tell me what to do (this is especially annoying when you add "life's not that bad," you have no idea what is going on in my life; maybe it IS that bad.)
11. trying to provoke a smile (you also have no idea how stubborn and oppositional i really am, the more you push the less i give.)
12. friends asking me how i am (not so much because i am so often terrible but because i feel almost guilty telling you that, yet again, and like i'm trying to elicit sympathy~i really don't love to complain even though i am so very good at it...)
13. not looking at me when i am using my finger to point you in the direction of the location you asked me for and heading off in the complete opposite direction when you do look (i once had to tell a woman quite slowly and explicitly to "look in the direction i'm pointing"the fifth time she asked me and then walk over there as she wondered past it.)
14. in general, not listening to the answer to your question as i give it to you either by asking the question and then wandering away from the desk (or answering your cell phone before you give me the chance to answer), or interrupting me to ask the question i am in the process of answering, or letting your mind obviously wander even if the answer is very short, or just not listening to me at all, did you really need to know the answer? By about the third repetition becomes incredibly difficult to control my words, voice, and tone.)
15. not even asking a question but rather standing in front of the desk smiling at me when i ask you if i can help you (and yes isn't a question in and of itself, i need more information if i am to actually help you~i am not a mind reader.)
16. asking another staff member the same question you just asked me simply because you didn't like me (often times you ask a third or fourth staff member because you keep getting the same answer from each one.) And i have to suppress a smile when the second staff member sends you back to me because they don't know the answer or because i am the one in charge.)
17. Teens telling me to "just relax" because they are doing what i just asked/told them to do and they are showing no evidence of doing so.
18. i can't relax because they are not relaxing me
19. and when you ask me why i am so annoyed it is because you are so annoying (but i do love it when you are so totally misbehaving, disruptive and disturbing to other patrons that i finally get to ban you from the library and have the police come ticket you for trespassing during the proscribed period of time.)
20. using the phrase "excuse me" just BEFORE you do something extremely rude (as if it really does excuse you.) This former form of manners has just become another irritation.
21. stupidity/ignorance, in general is not that annoying (most of the time...) but complete unwillingness to learn is (especially if you are just using it as a reason to get me to do everything for you.)
22. constantly disconnect me from the internet, causing me to buy a new router which might not even solve the problem.
23. my mom asking me if i am speaking clearly into the telephone as if i were some kind of idiot who doesn't know how to use a telephone (and if i didn't wouldn't it have been my mother's responsibility to teach me long, long ago?) Please, just tell me that you can't hear me or that i am breaking up and i will take the appropriate action. (and while we're on the subject while it doesn't annoy me but quite amuses me when my one and only sister leaves me a message and feels the need to add "your sister" to her greeting of it's me, as if i wouldn't recognize her voice.)

"Your teen is just an overgrown cat (who makes a lot more of a mess)."

or at least that is one of the descriptions Candice M. Kelsey applies to today's average teen in her book Generation MySpace: Helping Your Teen Survive Online Adolescence (her reason for making that particular comparison is that both teens and cats tend to operate on their own terms and schedules when it comes to sitting in laps and purring~or whatever it is teens do~i prefer my cats). So why am i reading this particular book you may well ask, and i'm not sure i have the answer to that question other than just a little quality control on my collection, or keeping up with the medium, or something, sometimes i just pick something up and read it and then it's read~guess some of us bibliophiles are like that at times.

Anyway, this is a great book for parents, or anyone who has to deal with today's teenagers (or pre-teenagers, or pre-pre-teenagers, for that matter.) Kelsey is the co-founder of a private high school in California where she teaches English, (she is also a mother) and is constantly embroiled in her students MySpace dramas. Although she is definitely not soft on the dangers of online social networking (and predators exist not only of the sexual variety, but in marketing and advertising bigwigs after that ever-lucrative teen demographic, and in the rather naive vulnerability of the teens themselves~though they often see themselves as more savvy than adults~and in some ways they may be. What Kelsey offers is practical and timely advise on how to navigate the "MySpace" world to experience it for yourself and then she offers you talking points and ways to approach your teen so that they might actually hear what you are saying (and talk to you, as well...)

a Midsummer Night's wish

Every culture has, at some point in its history, marked the time of Midsummer and held it to be enchanted.

The Celts, the Norse, and the Slavs believed that there were three “spirit nights” in the year when magic abounded and the Otherworld was near. The first was Halloween, the second was May Eve, and the third was Midsummer Eve. On this night of all nights, fairies are most active. As the solstice sun rises on its day of greatest power, it draws up with it the power of herbs, standing stones, and crystals. In the shimmering heat-haze on the horizon, its magical energies are almost visible.

The cold dark days of winter and blight are far away, and the time of light and warmth, summer and growth, is here. We naturally feel more joyful and want to spend more time in the open air. The crops are planted and growing nicely, and young animals have been born.

Midsummer is a natural time of celebration.

~Anna Franklin
Midsummer: Magical Celebrations of the Summer Solstice

So it was an okay time at work tonight, i had the pleasure of kicking out a mother and her children (regulars) for the boys continued misbehaviour. As i said, this mother and her boys come in often and the mother gets on the computer and browses and the boys run about causing distress and turmoil for everyone~ the mother, of course, does nothing, i try to explain to them what they may and may not do in a library but they are not use to any type of discipline so they do not listen. After i had told them to not run twice, and they had not listened to me twice, i had a patron come up and complain that they had been running around the computer room, being rambunctious, disturbing everyone, and that they had knocked over a couple of keyboards . So i go over to talk to them and when they see me coming they start saying "We know, we know," to which i respond "No, you need to leave."

"What do you mean?" (this shocks them.)

"I mean your mom needs to take you out of the library, I told you a couple of times that you needed to stop running and now i've had a patron complain about you so you are done with the library for the day." the mother is also extremely unhappy, this has ruined her day.

"But it wasn't our fault."

"You need to go."

"Blah, blah, blah"

"You need to go." (as i follow them out the door.)

Earlier i had had my (not) favorite child in (the four-year-old girl who wanders around on her own and follows everyone around, patrons and staff alike, bothering them all equally, and is one of the most controlling people in the world). I asked her, "NotFavoriteChild, is your mom here?" (because she knows she is not allowed in the library without her~at least she had shoes on today, however big and ugly they may have been) "Yes, over there," she waved in the direction of the table Mom was sitting at, and continued to follow our circ supervisor out the door to collect the book drop.

"Well, you need to be with your mom while you're in the library"

This elicits no response but a frown and an intense stare.

"While you are in the library, you need to be with your mom. You know this, NotFavoriteChild."

The frown/pout grows larger.

"You can frown at me if you want to, but you need to go over by your mom."

"But, boooooks..." she whines/pouts/frowns.

Our circ supervisor tells her that if she wants books her mom can get her some, so she stomps over by her mom who has been ignoring the entire situation (then i think she wanders outside.)

Once we had closed and i had ushered (most) everybody out, there was still a rather crunchy hippy-type dude hanging out in our holds area seemingly making notes. I stood (sort-of) patiently watching him for a while before asking him if there was anything i could help him find.

"No, thank you."

(So much for that not-so-subtle message) "Because we are closed..."

"I know." (i always find it interesting when someone tells me that they know something when their actions are demonstrating absolutely no knowledge of whatever they are telling me they know; i've recently discovered that children of a certain age say they know as an automatic response when they have no idea what you are talking about as a time-staller, but Mr CrunchyHippyMan appears to be much older than this certain age.)

"How are you?" he asks me, still standing where he is, in no apparent rush to leave.

Oh, how to answer this question? "Annoyed that you are still here because i really want to go home?" "Puzzled as to Why you are still here and exactly what you are doing and why you seem so calm and cheery about it?" I finally decide to go with a rather drawn out "Fine" (which is a rather unusual answer for me) and hope that he can catch all the undertones that go along with it.

He eventually finishes whatever it is he's doing, returns a borrowed pen to our circ clerk, and saunters out the door. I go to look at the hold books and notice he has written "HAPPY SOLSTICE" on a number of the hold slips. Isn't it lovely to share my celebratory days with these anomalous people (like the woman who had come in earlier asking for a love spell, of a very specific type which she needed immediately because it was Litha and she no longer had any of her books. Now couldn't she have thought of this before, it isn't as if Litha suddenly descended without any warning?)? Aren't i glad to be left in charge of the library while my manager is off cavorting at the ALA conference? (perhaps you can figure out my answer to these questions.)

teeheeheeheehee....

Now here’s a lovely sentiment: I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylvianne Donnio • Illustrated by Dorothée de Monfreid (don't you ever just get to feeling that way [like when the little darlings are running about the library making lots of loud, annoying kiddie-type noises crashing into other patrons and library displays and such; and their parents are wandering about {or surfing the internet} blithely ignoring their responsibilities~makes a librarian want to rampage...]?). Achilles is a baby crocodile whose mother brings him bananas to eat each and every morning (every time complimenting him on how big and handsome he is becoming~and with such beautiful teeth... "how true" he often thinks to himself, but he is growing Awfully tired of those bananas...)~he would Really like to eat a child.

"Children don't grow on banana trees," his mother chides (silly, silly boy) Papa Crocodile brings him a giant sausage, but, of course, that is no good. Mama and Papa make him a giant chocolate cake, but What Are They Thinking? He Really Wants to eat a Child! The ending is truly wonderful (and no children are eaten~just in case you're wondering {tho a child does make an appearance~and no, the child does not win Achilles over through charm~that would NOT be my kind of story, in case you didn't know!})

but I'm from Texas...

time for yet another installment of "Yes, there are Some Stupid Questions," but this one is more along the lines of "if you already knew the answer then why did you ask the question?" (or maybe, just perhaps, "I'm the Librarian, damn it!" so, of course, I'm Right~Meow.)

Today was a loooooooong day, starting with an 8:00 a.m. committee meeting (all my meetings seem to come at 8:00 a.m. which is still nighttime, as far as i am concerned~not too big on mornings.) The reason why i bring it up is that, it seems, whenever we reach the end of one of these meetings and are trying to schedule the next one, someone always seems to say "I CAN'T come in on That morning because I work that night..." To which i always want to respond, "So?" or "And..." because i work all nights and here i am... (yeah, i know, wah, wah, wah...)

Anyway...

So my first customer of the day is looking for a book on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the Real story. I tried explaining to her that the movie was not based on real events but i could probably find the novelization for her.

"No, I want the real story."

I tried further explaining the idea that Tobe Hooper had invented Leatherface (yes, Ed Gein~from Wisconsin, mind you~did provide some inspiration for the skin mask and cannibalistic aspects but what movie serial-killer hasn't drawn some broad inspiration from Ed Gein?) and the whole chainsaw thing (it came to him while standing in a hardware store, or so i've heard) but she was from Texas and she could remember when it happened (the chainsaw wielding, cannibalistic serial killer, that is), so i just couldn't get the concept to stick. I think she left thinking "Silly, silly non-Texan librarian."

Next is the woman who wants a listing of all the presidential salaries from George W(ashington) all the way through George W(. Bush). At first i thought this might be a difficult task but i actually came up with the figures rather quickly only to be told that they were wrong (because she knew for a fact that George Washington was only paid $200 per year which didn't match my $25, 000~though he did refuse it.) I had to come up with three other sources, all giving the same information before she could be convinced that she was either a)misremembering or b)whichever source she got it from was wrong to begin with (this is the same woman who always seeks Me out for My Information~i feel so blessed).

Our resident crazy newspaper guy, who on Saturday accused me of removing all of the ads from all of our papers so he could not see them, asked for the third day in a row how long we keep the papers, because there is an article he really wants and he would even be willing to dig through our recycle bin for it if it comes to that; And could i use "our special librarian databases" to find a Washington Post article that he needs and email it to him?

"We don't have access to any databases that our patrons don't, sir," (well, not the kind you seem to want, anyway~then, after telling me it couldn't be found online, we found it online~hip, hip...)

And my third strike for the day? A woman comes in looking for a book she has in hold but she can't find it on our hold shelf. When i look up her card i tell her it is being held for her at a different branch. "But my card said This Branch". (since the computer system i'm using is the same computer system that printed the card i doubt it, but whatever.)

"It is being held for you at The Other Branch."

"But my card said This Branch." (hmm, this conversation seems to be going nowhere.)

"Well, i don't have the book here, what shall we do?"

"The card said it was here."

. . . . .

Things continued like that for quite some time, but i won't further bore you, just suffice it to say the migraine that i had for an entire week, which then gave me a day-long break, is coming back.

My library is located right next to some low-rent apartments (which isn't quite as much fun as being across the street from the baby gangster junior high, but almost...) These apartments give us a nine-year-old boy whose fondest dream is to hide in the library after everyone has left (and he has actually succeeded once or twice in doing so~therefore he has been banned until he and his mom come in to talk to our manager. They also bless us with a four-year-old girl who once wandered in, by herself, trailing behind or sitting by random adults until my manager noticed and walked her home. The little girl's mother came in today to use our courtesy phone to call the police because her four-year-old who had been "in and out of the house, playing, you know?" was nowhere to be found and she thought she had taken off with the nine-year old neighbor who thinks its a fun game to take her by the arm and they both run away from the girl's mother and she can't stop them from going "wherever."

As i'm listening to this, i'm wondering, "do you really want to let the police know that not only have you lost track of your four-year-old who you do not seem to supervise in any way, but that you also have seem to be incapable of control or proper supervision if you did try?"

One of the neighbors did find the girl (sitting by herself in some unattended car, by the by) just before the police arrived but the mom wanted the officer to go talk to the mother of the nine year old to tell her that her son couldn't play with her daughter. I had to stay in the library, so i didn't hear any of the officer's conversation with ANY parents, though i think it might have been interesting.

And then our crazy family comes in. Mom and Dad, both seem to inhabit some other world~who knows where, so, of course, their two sons are out of control. They are wandering about the library, causing their usual chaos, when one of the boys notices the beautiful, brand, new stuffed tiger that our Marketing department just brought us for display. He wants it (and of course if your child wants something, you just give it to him, right?) So Dad tries to get it down, only to discover, that the very-wise Marketing people had tied it down with wire. Failing to have his desire met drives the child into a kicking, SCREAMING (eardrum-shattering) temper-tantrum (which lasts much longer than i gave the human lungs credit for). His temper-tantrum coincides with another child's temper-tantrum because she is being forcibly separated from some library item (i'm too over-occupied with the first problem to see what that item is). Meanwhile Dad is trying to calm his brat by offering him all the other stuffed animals we have atop our shelves (because when your child is throwing a fit you should prove to him what an effective technique throwing a fit can be). The boy takes our flamingo and alternately beats it against the floor and lets out a high-pitched squeal to let Everyone know he still isn't happy. I sit at my desk trying to decide if i want to deal with any of this (have i mentioned this family is a continual problem? talking to any of them rationally is difficult)

Finally the family leaves and everything feels just a bit calmer. I mention something along those lines and our new shelver asks "how many kids are in that family anyway? Five? Six?"

"Two, just two." my head is on the desk as i hold up two fingers.

Luckily we are in the final stretch and as i am going through my pre-closing routine, on my way back to the computer room to start turning off the Internet computers, i am stopped by a befuddled-looking woman standing in front of our "One Book" display. "What are these books here for?" she asks.

I do a quick little blah, blah, blah spiel and am met by a look of confusion i have neither the time or inclination to try and clear. I point to the poster above the display explaining the program and now i encounter that kind of slack-jawed expression i recognize as, "You mean i have to Read? Multiple Words? On a poster? Duh?" she stares at the poster for a while then asks, "So you can check these out? And read them? And bring them back?"

That's the basic concept of a library, yeah. What, didya think you were walking into a liquor store 'cause that's a ways away. (I restrain myself to a simple "yup" and quickly scamper away.)

Once i did get most of the computers turned off and i noticed a guy go from an on computer, to turn one on that i had already turned off, when i noticed him going to a third i marched back there.

"Did you need some help, Sir???" (i must admit i was a touch grumpy by this point)

"Those other computers didn't work"

"If you're having trouble with the internet computers you should just come up to the desk and let us know," (so that this ever-so-friendly ☺ and Helpful librarian can come show you how to enter your 1-2-3-4 password~and, yes, that's actually what it was) "I just turned those computers off because we're closing. So, did you need help getting on the internet?"

"Why, are ya closin' or something?"

"Well, yes, actually, (like i just told you, and announced, a few times, but oh well) you only have a few minutes left."

"Oh, well here's your card back," he tosses his one-day internet card at me.

Okay, whatever dude.

Where's a chainsaw when you need one?

teens aren't that stupid... or are they?

I came across this article in the current issue of School Library Journal (January 2007)

Adolescents Aren’t That Stupid After All
By Debra Lau Whelan -- 1/1/2007

Teens actually weigh the pros and cons of bad decisions and decide it’s worth the risk

The next time you hear about one of your students getting arrested, knocked up, or caught taking drugs, don’t just chalk it up to stupid teen behavior. Contrary to popular belief, most adolescents make unwise choices after heavily weighing the pros and cons, says a new study from Cornell University. They just engage in high-risk behavior because they think the benefits—such as immediate gratification or peer acceptance—outweigh the risks.
In fact, teens don’t think they’re invulnerable and take more time than adults pondering the risks—about 170 milliseconds longer. Most kids actually overestimate the important dangers of, say, smoking and having unprotected sex, says Valerie Reyna, professor of human development at Cornell and coauthor of the study with Professor Frank Farley of Temple University.

“The short-term analysis often favors engaging in the risky behaviors with teens because they see the benefits as pretty high,” says Reyna. “Having sex outweighs the risk of, for example, getting pregnant or developing a sexually transmitted disease.”
Adults, on the other hand, don’t engage in much conscious deliberation about bad decisions because they “intuitively grasp the gists (the essence of their actions) of risky situations, retrieve appropriate risk-avoidant values, and never proceed down the slippery slope of actually contemplating trade-offs between risks and benefits,” says the report, recently published in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest. In other words, more experienced decision makers “tend to rely more on fuzzy reasoning, processing situations and problems as gists rather than weighing multiple factors,” Reyna says.

Why is adolescent risky decision making important? Because, the study says, scientific literature confirms the commonsense belief that the teenage years are a period of inordinate risk taking. For example, three million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases in the U.S. are identified in adolescents every year. And more than half of all new cases of HIV infection occur in people younger than 25, with an average of two new young people in the U.S. infected with HIV every hour, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The study only proves that teens have developmental needs unique to their age group, says Beth Yoke, executive director of the Young Adult Library Services Association. “This means that it is critical for libraries to have young adult librarians on staff, as they’re specially trained to provide services tailored to the singular needs of this important and growing segment of the community,” Yoke adds.
After analyzing existing scientific literature and interviewing hundreds of kids over the last three years, the researchers say that although brain maturation in adolescence is incomplete, teens are “developmentally competent” to make decisions about risks. And that’s why certain interventions could help them do the right thing more often.
“It’s a rational decision from their point of view, but that doesn’t mean society shouldn’t discourage it because the long-term consequences are often unhealthy from, say, getting pregnant and not going on and getting a college education,” Reyna says.
Pointing out the dangers of doing something dumb—and other obvious ways that parents try to stop kids from engaging in risky behavior—is likely to be ineffective and could backfire because “young people already feel vulnerable and overestimate their risk.”
Instead, interventions should help young people develop “gist-based” thinking in which dangerous risks are categorically avoided rather than weighed in a rational, deliberative way.
Of course, growing up and maturing beyond the teenage years is the ultimate solution. For a full copy of the report, visit www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/.

Just because they think about it doesn't mean they REALLY THINK about it. So they do consider the risks and decide the risk is worth it, but do they really understand what that consequence is? I think not.

So i get pregnant. Pregnancy lasts a hell of a lot longer than nine months. A baby isn't a sweet cuddly bundle of unconditional love. It's at least eighteen years of all kinds of expense (emotional, spiritual, fiscal, and physical).

AIDS isn't some romantic instant death. It's a long, long battle.

Considering risks doesn't always equal weighing consequences. (i know, i remember ;)

let's just lock the library!

i have definitely considered this option in the past (or wished i could consider it~i know some of our deputies have definitely wanted us to do it), or just going back to closed stacks, or something along those lines~but for some reason our administration has never taken any of my ideas seriously...

New York Times

January 2, 2007

Lock the Library! Rowdy Students Are Taking Over

By TINA KELLEY

MAPLEWOOD, N.J., Jan. 1
— Every afternoon at Maplewood Middle School’s final bell, dozens of students pour across Baker Street to the public library. Some study quietly.

Others, library officials say, fight, urinate on the bathroom floor, scrawl graffiti on the walls, talk back to librarians or refuse to leave when asked. One recently threatened to burn down the branch library. Librarians call the police, sometimes twice a day.

As a result, starting on Jan. 16, the Maplewood Memorial Library will be closing its two buildings on weekdays from 2:45 to 5 p.m., until further notice.

An institution that, like many nationwide, strives to attract young people, even offering beading and cartooning classes, will soon be shutting them out, along with the rest of the public, at one of the busiest parts of its day.

Library employees will still be on the job, working at tasks like paperwork, filing, and answering calls and online questions.

* * (snip) * *

About a year ago, the Wickliffe, Ohio, library banned children under 14 during after-school hours
unless they were accompanied by adults. An Illinois library adopted a “three strikes, you’re out” rule, suspending library privileges for repeat offenders. And many libraries are adding security guards specifically for the after-school hours.

In Euclid, Ohio, the library pumps classical music into its lobby, bathrooms and front entry to calm patrons, including those from the nearby high school.

A backlash against such measures has also begun: A middle school in Jefferson Parish, La., that requires a daily permission slip for students to use the local public library after school was threatened with a lawsuit last month by the American Civil Liberties Union.

Librarians and other experts say the growing conflicts are the result of an increase in the number of latchkey children, a decrease in civility among young people and a dearth of “third places” — neither home nor school — where kids can be kids.

“We don’t consider the world as safe a place as it used to be, and we don’t encourage children to run around, hang around and be free,” said Judy Nelson, president of the Young Adult Library Services Association, part of the American Library Association. “So you have parents telling their kids that the library is a good place to go.”

* * (snip) * *

Linda W. Braun, a librarian and professor who has written four books about teenagers’ use of libraries, said the students want only to be treated like everybody else.

“If there are little kids making noise, it’s cute, and they can run around, it’s O.K.,” Ms. Braun said of standard library operating procedure. “Or if seniors with hearing difficulties are talking loudly, that’s accepted. But a teen who might talk loudly for a minute or two gets in trouble.”

She added: “The parents don’t want them, the library doesn’t want them, so they act out.”

That leaves librarians doing a job they did not sign up for: baby-sitting for kids old enough to baby-sit.

The Maplewood library has created a gallery space for young people’s artwork, put on an anime film festival and formed a Teen Advisory Group that attracted 30 youngsters for a recent pizza party.

But problems persisted.

In consultation with a lawyer, the library board came up with behavior guidelines in May 2005 that prohibited activities like “hairdressing or grooming of another person” and “refusal to leave the building.” The policy includes some politely precise language common to those who speak softly from behind a reference desk: “If a patron seems to be placing a staff member in the position of providing a nonlibrary-related function, the staff member may bring the interaction to a prompt conclusion.”

But library officials felt that a bigger stick was needed. Last week, the board posted a notice on its
Web site and library doors saying it had “struggled with this problem for over 10 years” and voted “with great reluctance” on Dec. 20 to close after school.

“Having as many as 50 young people with nothing to do creates an untenable situation,” read the
note, which pointed out that many students did not use library resources but simply socialized in the building. “It interferes with patrons of all ages who want to use the library and with the staff members who are there to serve them. The library can no longer deal with large numbers of students who come after school and wait, sometimes into the late evening, to be picked up.”

The decision has not been popular in town. In a posting on Maplewoodonline.com, the community’s Internet bulletin board, one resident, Joan Crystal, said an alternative needed to be developed before closing the library. “I also think it improper to close the library during hours when adults, older students and M.M.S. students find it most convenient to use the library,” she wrote.

David Huemer, who represents the Maplewood Township Committee on the library board, said he would like to see the current police station, which is being retired in favor of a new one, converted to a youth center.

“What we have to do now is build some long-overdue facilities and fund some programs so kids can have alternatives to hanging out,” he said. “To the extent that the vote of the library board is going to wake people up and get them to do something about kids from sixth grade to high school, that’s a good thing.”

About eight years ago, the library in nearby Irvington, N.J., struggling with similar problems, was shuttered for an hour each afternoon. But it was only for three days, until the students managed to settle down, officials said.

* * (snip) * *

Outside the library, students who use it gave the new hours two thumbs down, way down.

“Kids will get into real mischievous activities” with the library closed, warned one teenager, Jonathan Brock, a student at the district’s alternative high school program.

“I’m kind of annoyed,” said David Carliner, a middle schooler who was rushing up the library steps ahead of his father. “It closes right when my school gets out, so I can’t check out any books.”

Happy Blitt contributed research.

I don't want to criticize the decision made by the lovely folks at Maplewood Memorial Library, i don't know everything they've tried in the past or everything they're facing (and they seem to have enough people pointing fingers at them, and i can definitely empathize with them, i have been there, and i AM there~it sounds it exactly like our library (although sometimes ours can be a bit worse). But i do have to wonder at some of the comments made. First of all, i have NEVER considered little kids running around and making noise "Cute". I usually tell them to cease and desist, and if that has no effect, i tell their parent or responsible adult (if they are to be found) that they need to keep their child under control or leave the library. I have also been known to tell adults to please lower their voices and watch their language (though i don't remember doing so with the hard of hearing). I absolutely agree with equal treatment and believe that respect goes two ways. In fact when i once asked a group of adults to please take out their lattes (because we are not one of those modern libraries with a coffee bar and we don't allow drinks) and they made some kind of snarky comment about not being teenagers who couldn't handle their soda, i was thinking "why should that really make a difference in them being allowed to not follow our policy???" The idea that a teen is getting into trouble for talking loudly for a minute or two is an indication that Ms. Braun really doesn't understand the scope of the problem (or at least my problem.) I have been saying that what we really need in this area is a youth center too (we could use a new library too, which the town council keeps lobbying for, but we are in much more dire need of a youth center, but does anyone listen to little old me???) And what exactly does it mean that kids will get into mischievous activities? Is that somehow the library's fault? Is it the library's responsibility to keep them out of those activities? Is it a threat? And that poor annoyed middle school boy~this rampaging librariarian feels SO VERY SORRY for him.

help, i'm trapped in a library

with many minions of rambunctious, reveling, hormonally-raging teenagers (is it the season that over-excites them so much more than normal~which is quite enough in itself?) . I remember being that age and wanting nothing more than to escape them, and dreaming of a time when i would never have to be around them anymore (i expressly didn't teach for JUST this reason) and now here i am, raging, pounding, screaming, ice-picking migraine with no escape in sight...

sometimes, they'll come up to the reference desk, armed with nothing more than mumbled nouns:

"pencil", "computer", "digimon", "glue", "marker", "scissors", "phone"

"Is there something that you wanted to ask me? (perhaps something that you wanted of me?)"

"Could you possibly wrap a sentence around that (do you know any verbs, modifiers, pronouns~or even how to modulate your voice so it sounds like you might be asking a question rather than making a demand)?" (forget polite...magic words just draw blank stares)

Does anyone have a reference question for this so-called reference librarian?

okay, i feel the grumpy creeping in and the Comet slipping away, somebody save me,

PLEASE...

Maybe i should just save myself with a little Christmas Cheer.

Now back to your regularly scheduled chaos...

crashing my way through politics

Friday afternoon, early dismissal for school, the usual crowd is here~tons of fun, as always. The gang boys are hanging out over by the entrance, i’ve been watching them for awhile. There’s a slightly older (than them) white guy sitting on the counter with them. I watch them for a while longer, hoping that they'll leave of their own accord. They don't.

I slowly amble over there, ask the older guy to please not sit on the counter and then ask the guys what they're doing.

They say they're waiting for the computers.

Are they all signed up?

One of them is.

I tell them that the rest of them are going to have to find something library-related to do or else go. The boys give me some excuses, some back talk, the usual stuff.

I repeat myself.

They repeat themselves.

It goes the rounds.

I then ask them to leave.

They start complaining, back talking, blah, blah, blah...

I ask them to leave.

Blah, blah, blah...

I say, "I've told you to leave, are you going to give me trouble about that?"

They finally get up and leave.

I turn to the white guy who is still leaning on the counter and ask him what He is going to do, and at that point he opens his jacket to show me his badge, and i realize he is the COP officer that we thought had not shown up this afternoon.

"OH," i say, somewhat sheepishly, "i didn't know who you were, that you were here, You never introduced yourself to us..."

"Yeah, i was just in the process of asking those guys to leave..."

"hmmm..." i'm thinking "you weren't doing such a great job at it..."

so this little redheaded librarian decides it's time to slink off to lunch with her tail between her legs...

perhaps it's better to rampage?

I was not able to sleep at all last night. Had an 8:00 am meeting this morning. Needless to say i am tired. It's probably also needless to say i have a migraine. It has been a VERY long day. The minutes are growing even longer. I am alone at the reference desk. Not much going on. Kind of slumped over, my head rested in my hand, elbow on the desk (image of the perfect reference librarian right?) There's a twelve year old whose been waiting for his mom for an hour now; he's looking for scary movies, he searches the titles on our shelves, when he can't find what he's looking for there he comes and asks me if we have the same title in (everything we have is on the shelf) i try to remain patient--my nerves are fraying.

A barefooted little girl is gleefully running through the stacks. I hear her giggles and see her pop out each time she reaches the end of an aisle. She is having a grand old time. After a while i detachedly observe that this is inappropriate behaviour for a library. After a while longer it slowly dawns on me that I should be the one to do something about it. I drag myself out of my seat and slowly amble over to the aisle she is about to turn down, i lean myself against the bookcase and wait as she comes charging toward me.

"Hi," i greet her, cheerfully.

"Hi" she says, delighted with the possibility of a new friend.

"Do you have shoes?" i inquire, liltingly.

"yeah," a few clouds of confusion beginning to cross her face.

"Well, you should probably wear your shoes while you are in the library." i struggle to keep the brightness and the lightness in my voice.

"oh"

"And you really shouldn't run while you're in the library"

At this point the cute little girl's face crinkles up into such a look, and i can just see her thinking, "you're not a very nice lady, it seemed like you were going to be nice, when you were just out to spoil my fun all along!"

I almost feel bad.

But she does stop running.

But i think MAYBE playing the stereotypical, mean-old-shushing-NO-NO-NO-spinster librarian might be the better approach after all. At least then the kids know what they're getting.

people in glass houses...

Our Internet computers have not been running smoothly of late to say the least--frankly they've been an absolute nightmare--we have to reboot the server and the computers about five times per day (not that it helps much). Today, this teenaged girl came up to the desk and complained that the computer was saying that her password was invalid. I was ready for another big problem and i start the regular flowchart of questions. I asked her the next logical question which was if she was sure she was putting in the correct password. She responded with a massive sigh and a giant eyeroll and a look on her face that let me know that i was so incredibly stupid she could not believe she was wasting HER PRECIOUS time with me. In an exasperated, patronizing tone of voice she spews "The computer WON'T LET me put in a password, it won't LET me TYPE anything!"

"Well if it won't let you put in you password how can it be telling you your pass word is wrong?" seems like a reasonable question to me (but of course i am an IDIOT) So i get up and follow her as she stamps to her computer which she promptly stands beside, waiting for me to magically fix whatever the problem may be. "Well are we both going to stand here and watch the computer do nothing, or are you going to insert your card and show me what the problem is?" i ask (strangely enough i am not in the best of moods at this point--being treated rudely does not always make me want to cheerfully deliver)

She slumps into the chair, shoves her card into the slot, and starts pounding on the keyboard--surely enough her numerical password does not enter in. I lean over her shoulder and point to the NUM LOCK light, softly saying "Do you see this little NUM LOCK light? If this light isn't on isn't on the NUM LOCK key is not on and your numerical keyboard will not work, you can either turn this on (like this) or use the regular keyboard." Needless to say that particular issue was solved and i went back to my little reference desk. Moral for this story (and oh so many others.) Before you insult the intelligence of others you really should be sure that you operating from a place of brilliance yourself.

Do you have Salt Lake City Punk?

is the question that seems to be on the minds of a whole bunch of teeny-boppers lately and i can't help but wonder why (of course while inwardly snarling and correcting them with an almost judgemental SLC Punk!)--do they know that the scene they are describing (while fictionalized) is twenty years old, and that the old fogey they are addressing behind the desk was actually part of the very scene they are somehow thinking is so very cool (and would they think it was so very cool if they knew)?

I was listening to a local radio show today talking about the "old" punk scene and reliving it a little, can't the kids come up with their own stuff? Why do they have to steal ours--although i guess we've all been doing that--time and time again--so can i really complain?--of course i can!!!

just another day/night at the library

(I fear this may be another epic post)

I used to have a doctor who would tell me, every single time i went to visit her that her fantasy job was to be a librarian. That when her job got to be too stressful, too hectic, she and her nurse would talk about how nice it would be to work in the peace and quiet of a library and just read all day. I have heard this fantasy from a number of people now and when i hear it i usually just smile and nod--who am i to shatter anyone's illusions.

Once my sister and i were watching Bob (actually a great and terribly funny and underrated show--don't know if anyone remembers it) and one of the characters (Trisha, if it matters) was in a rush to get to a anniversary celebration and, of course, everything was falling apart; she and her companion made a stop at a convenience store and while they were there, an armed robber came in to rob the place; Trisha grabbed the gun out of his hand, shouted, "We don't have time for this!" and tossed the gun aside. The bandit was too shocked to do anything but run away, my sister and i commented about the implausibility of the situation and laughed at the absurdity; but it brought to mind my own reckless youth.

When I was eighteen I worked in a gas station/(supersmall) convenience store. The day i started i was called in to cover for a guy who had just been robbed and was too shaken up to continue working. Somewhat later in my somewhat unremarkable career as a gas station attendant, as i sat quietly reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest i glanced up to spy, coming around the ice machine, two men with nylon stockings over their heads about to enter the door, and i quite quickly realized, "well, Now I'm going to be robbed." So, i set my book down (face down so as not to loose the place,) slid off my stool, and stood at the counter. They came in, drew their guns and demanded all the money in the cash register; i readily complied but they were not happy with the amount (i, ever dutiful, had been making my required safe drops and therefore the cash drawer amount was low). One of the robbers started to come around the counter to check under the till. I was a)extremely annoyed that they wouldn't believe me; b) feeling that they were invading my territory (i.e. MY side of the counter) and c) (here's the biggie) eighteen and stupid (you know that whole bravado thing where you think you're immortal and all...) so i put my hand up to physically stop the guy WITH THE GUN from coming around to My side of the counter. I said, in my most commanding voice, "No, you stay there, I'll do it." And so he did. (interesting that--improbable--i don't really know, maybe everyone just responds to the tone of your voice--or the craziest/stupidest person in the room is the one who gets listened to?)

Anyway, they left with the money. I called the police, then i called my manager (might i mention that i both finished out my shift and never closed the store--neither was a replacement nor closure suggested and i never thought to ask) Once i gave my statement to the police they told me i was the calmest robbery victim they had ever seen--i'm not sure it was a compliment. I was never really too upset about the incident--i was more upset about some things my manager told me that same night, tho i don't remember what they were now--i do remember calling my mom and saying "Julie (manager) said blah...blah...blah...(ranting for about twenty minutes)... and, oh yeah i was robbed." I thought at the time perhaps i was in shock and it would all hit me later--about twenty-two years now--still hasn't hit.

Here's a little campfire tale: I once was camping with some friends, sitting around the campfire drinking some wine, about 11:00 p.m., when out of the woods, comes stumbling a man with a shotgun asking if we'd seen his friend. We hadn't seen or heard anyone else all night and told him so. He continued to talk to us somewhat drunkenly, agitatedly (is that a word?), incoherently and stumble around until he was actually standing in the middle of our campfire. I don't know if it was the level of his intoxication, the thickness of his boots, or the increasing emotional intensity of his ire which caused him not to notice that he was standing in the middle of the fire. I think a few of us softly, meekly, mentioned it to him; softly because as i said he was quite agitated, holding a shotgun, and only seemed to be getting more agitated. He finally wandered off into the woods from whence he came, hollering for his friend, we later heard some shots but never learned anything more. I think what is really interesting about that night is that after he stumbled off and the five of us began to talk we had each believed in the minutes that he had been there that we were all about to be shot dead and yet we all remained remarkably calm about it.

Now you may be wondering at this point, given the title of this post, that's all well and good; but what does it have to do with being a librarian? Quite a lot actually. There used to be a show on TLC called Faking It one of the episodes had a stereotypical librarian (shy, quiet) who had to train for four weeks to trick people into thinking she was a bartender at Coyote Ugly. One of the things she had the hardest time with was learning to talk loud and interacting with the public, now granted, she works behind the scenes in an academic library and there are many types of librarians, BUT i have NO problem talking loud when needed and interacting with the public--i work in a public library--shyness is a little difficult to maintain.

What, in my vast experience, besides library school, best prepared me for a librarianship? Probably pretty much everything. Probably having a gun pointed at me. Time spent with all the crazy people doing crazy things in Theatre school. Sure there are books and reading, but i have almost no time to read at work (i did a whole lot of reading at that gas station--and at various other jobs--but not this one). I was a back-up cook in a bar (two nights a week--the cook's night off) for a year. A bar where almost no one ordered any food, I spent a lot of time playing pool with the bouncer until things got hopping then i usually read 'til the kitchen closed, making an occasional order. I worked for almost three years in one of the most popular campus hangouts, a pizzeria that was open til 3:00am this pizzeria was THE PLACE where everyone came After the bars closed, imagine a bunch of drunk collegians five nights a week. I don't remember Ever having to call the police at either of those jobs. As a librarian i call them on an almost daily basis.

In the afternoons when school lets out its the usual stampede from the junior high across the street (we've talked about this haven't we?) Its surprising how frightening those raging hormones can be. Its kind of humorous in a non humorous kind of way to watch the police arrive to deal with these preteens and teens. First one car with an armed officer or two will pull up, but usually they will wait for backup and gosh we shy librarian have to deal with these Tough Kids all by our little old selves. We've been complaining to administration off and on for years and they stop by for about a half an hour here and there to observe but we're all a little jaded and numb--we just got a new youth services librarian about a month ago who is wonderful and was horrified by what we go through daily--things are beginning to change now--thank you, thank you, thank you Susan! (the interesting thing about this is as i describe daily events to the people in my life they seem to think that things have been getting much worse lately when i think actually what has happened is that those of us who have been living with it for so long have just become inured to it and tend not to describe or even notice how many times our lives are threatened each day.)

Then there are the less routine calls--the ones that seem to hit when i am alone at the desk, like when our regular but slightly unbalanced porn viewer finally blows up and stands at the reference desk yelling at me, refusing to leave, even while i am on the phone with the police; he stands in the middle of the library yelling invectives, explicatives, threatening me and the patron who is trying to calm him down. Or the time when the members from the wrong gang wandered into our library only to discover it was the rival gang's turf and unwittingly incited the invitation for warfare when all they wanted was a ride home; and i (once again alone at the desk) had to to ring the police up to take care of the ever amassing group of Bloods that i noticed gathering in the playground across the street. Actually the Crips were nicer than our usual crowd and i had some pleasant conversations with them as well as set them up with some good reading choices (which i knew they read because i saw their lips moving) as they made numerous calls to their friends who seemed to have a very difficult time finding the library.) When the Metro Gang Unit finally arrived they told them to stay in the library until their rides arrived.

Tonight was a nice change of pace because it was just the paramedics who were called in when our new shelver had a seizure and our court-ordered community service volunteer found her lying unconscious in our backroom. They came and carted her off to ....(i hope it was the hospital, they neglected to tell me where they were going or even when they left i guess they thought i was busy enough since i was alone at the desk...) Anyway such is the quiet, peaceful life (don't you wish there was such a thing as a sarcastic font?) of the librarian, i remember when i was an acting student thirsting for experience and everything was experience. Living every minute of it! I do love to have stories to tell.

(have you noticed that i sometimes tend to get a bit tangential and that brevity doesn't seem to be one of my strongest points?)

the fine art of shushing; or i fear i'm becoming the old spinster librarian with multiple cats

I used to shudder everytime i heard that hissing sound come from between my own lips--that "old fashioned librarian" noise that came automatically, unbidden at the sound of seemingly excessive noise or rambunctiousness--and sometimes that single finger would even creep up to my lip for emphasis. Now there are moments when i am sitting at the reference desk where i see opportunities to shush and almost relish the action (Almost and not Always) who am i becoming?

And then i come home, weary, headachey, cranky; i want to do nothing but hibernate. I find myself stumbling over the three cats that allow me to live with them, feed them, clean up after them, be furniture for them--and most of the time that home is where i'm happiest.

I am often up 'til the wee hours of the morning--i've always been a night owl but i used to be out haunting the night "up to no good" whatever for those hours. Now i just suffer from insomnia and migraines--you'll most likely find me mopping my kitchen floor, scrubbing the bathtub, or some other mundane task i haven't gotten to during daylight at three or four a.m. if reading hasn't lulled me to sleep, and the headache has dulled enough. Party Girl was always one of my favorite movies and not just a role model but SO already me.

Now i'm really not complaining here and unfortunately this could all just be age (wah, wah, wah) my goal is to still never grow up--and i still go out, and make people laugh and do my fair share of shocking things (although now it seems to be more tales of past deeds than current exploits--though i must admit i still have a few of those too). I just have to ponder every now and then who i am--which is always the sum of everyone i've been and everything i've done and as long as i'm satisfied with where i'm going i guess it's okay.

the long and winding (or should that be winded) road

I'm a redhead down to the core of my soul (where-ever that may be) but nature has to be reminded of that fact every four to six weeks. That means i have a temper that flares easily, quickly, and everyone will immediately hear what i have to think--but it will go away just as quickly; and i can't hold a grudge no matter how hard i try.
When i was in junior high i wanted to be a poet (tho I was sure i would die a poetic death by seventeen at the latest). In high school being an architect didn't sound too bad so i took three years of physics, calculus, etc; then my first year of college i continued with the sciences and a pre-med major. My second year of college i took a quite a turn and decided to switch to the theatre department (flashback to that six-year-old-kicking-and-screaming temper tantrum that prompted my mother to tell me that i should be an actress when i grew up--did she ever grow to regret that).
A few years into acting and a few consultations with my advisers in which i was told (among other things–which were more true, and therefore less entertaining) that i was not devoted enough to my art because i was too busy working (to pay the very bills to keep me in school...such is life) i had a brief (perhaps two to three quarters--an antiquated university system since done away with on most campuses) flirtation with psychology {and obviously a never-ending love affair/obsession with parentheses} (a field i swore never to go into because it was my mother’s field). Interesting side note: when you tell people you’re a theatre major all you usually hear from them is "interesting" in that rather odd tone and the conversation either mercifully ends or goes on to another subject from there; when you tell people you’re a psychology major you are suddenly hearing all of their problems/life stories. I went running back to the theatre department, tail between my legs. I finally did graduate with a B.A. in general theatre with a minor in creative writing (that poetry/author bug was still lurking somewhere) and i was quite happy with the education i ended up with. I’ve often said that my degree in theatre gave me a great liberal education because learning the history and culture of people trying to express themselves dramatically is learning the history of the world (because that is what they are expressing after all). The added benefit is that no-one graduating with a B.A. in theatre can realistically be expecting anyone to hand them a job (all sorts of other recent grads unrealistically expect that only to be disillusioned–no disillusionment in store for me!)
Three years in the world of the same kind of work i’d already been doing for years plus a year of free vocational school for office skills (fill in a few forms and some wonderful community college counselor finds funding for "an overeducated/underemployed woman" never found out Where that funding came from–about the only unknown source of funding i’ve ever (not) found) a longing to be back in the hallowed halls sent me in search of graduate schools (and majors). Though i longed i knew with absolute certainty that i did Not want to teach (especially not junior high–did not like that age when i WAS that age). I loved research and i loved learning, this bookworm suddenly realized that i needed to be a librarian and that i should have realized it long ago. And the best thing was that Library Science was only a graduate level subject so tho i was late in realizing my vocation i had not wasted the life leading up to it–not that a life can ever be wasted if you enjoy it and use/learn what you get from it–we are always the sum of everything that we have been.
When i was in Library School i wanted to be an academic librarian (again the lure of those hallowed halls and ivory towers) i remember class introductions and so many members would say "I want to be a reference librarian" and inwardly groaning, "oh god i SO DO NOT want to be a public reference librarian–ten years of customer service, food service, retail, etc, is quite enough Thank You! (Not really a big people person here)".
So...now i’m a public service librarian (read reference librarian in a public library). Have been for about eight years, most of the time i like my job–it definitely could be worse. Oh yeah, did i mention that the library is right next to a junior high school? Did i mention how much i love junior-high-schoolers? Sometimes i have to go on a little rampage...or two...or a big rampage...