¿do i Really want to know?

On December 26 of last year Diane Rehm had Ann Fessler on her show to talk about the book The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe v. Wade , she also talked to some of the women featured in the book. I was listening to the show a while ago (yes i know, more than a little late there~but i have many podcasts stacked up on my computer and i just listen to them whenever). Actually i think it was the second time i listened to that particular show, and then i decided to read the book even though i knew it would bring up issues for me.

I am an adoptee who really has never had any desire to seek out my birth mother. I used to have a baby book (well i'm sure i still have it~i just don't know where~it used to be on a certain shelf in my mother's bedroom where i could always find it~and then, at some point in my "adult" life she decided to give it to me~silly, silly mom...), a special baby book made just for adoptees, talking about how special and lucky we were to be chosen. I loved that baby book and would seek it out again and again (is that something that everyone does?) not just to look at pictures of myself when i was young, and to read notes from my father of my wonderful progress through infancy and toddlerhood (as well as some of those kindergarten "report cards"~one in which my teacher said i acted like a china doll, as if i was afraid to move for fear i would break~ha, little did she know~after forty years of many broken bones that five-year old self knew more than she could possibly imagine), but also to read that tiny 1/3 of a sheet of information about my birthparents (some ethnic info: German on both sides, Irish on one, French on the other, as i've already mentioned; mother very intelligent and wanting the best for me; father completed college and involved in "some kind" of electrical work~perhaps he was an alien just passing through our solar system on his way to elsewhere~my quirky body chemistry has sometimes led me to suspect as much.) There was also a few pages written by the foster mother who cared for me for the first five weeks of my life~talking about what a wonderful baby i was~i remember poring over those pages, i don't know when it was that i realized those blacked-out portions were the name i was called before i was me. In reading the accounts of these birth-mothers i realized that many of them named their babies before they were surrendered~perhaps i even had two names before the one that currently identifies me~the one that IS me, that seems to be so much a part of everything that i am~that is quite a ponderous thought.

So many of the women in this book talked about how they felt forced or coerced into surrendering their children, that it is not something they wanted to do. I understand that this was a different time period that perhaps i cannot relate to but my personality is such that i would make a choice that i really didn't want to, my mother who IS of this generation never would either. I really am not criticizing these women, but i believe they are, in some ways not taking responsibility for their choices, they DID make a choice, even in allowing others to make choices for them. Do i feel for them? Absolutely, i even cried for them. I also cried for myself. Though i am glad my birthmother gave me "a way" (for a better life~as one of the women said) she also left me with some abandonment and rejection issues, which, through reinforcement with some other life events, have led to trust and commitment issues (which i fully own as mine.) Even if she felt forced into what she did i don't feel there is any place in my life for her (plus there is a fear of a second rejection if i sought her out).

I felt sorry for young women who had no sexual knowledge or education whatsoever, who, often, had their first physical exam as adults be their first prenatal exam by judgemental, paternalistic MDs; who had to live in homes for "deviants and delinquents"; who gave birth alone and afraid with no idea what was going on, then had to try and pretend nothing happened. One woman who had gone through an abortion years after she gave up her baby for adoption said giving up the baby was much more traumatic~knowing that there was a part of you out there, maybe, you didn't know whether it was living or dead, doing well or not~that is why i could never do it. I have no blame for these women, it was terrible to shame them the way they were shamed (as if they "had no right to be a mother")~expecting people not to do something that has always been done and giving them no education or options is no option~societies all over have proven that~restrictions often make the forbidden all that more appealing.

I do not agree with the woman who objects to the term "birth-mother" (also terms such as natural mother, life mother, biological mother, first mother, etc.) as if they weren't a real mother~i don't believe they are, my real mother is the woman who raised me, who mothered me, not the woman who made a mistake, carried me for nine months, and birthed me, though i'm grateful i often have a hard time coming up with a name for her myself (sometimes she is just "that woman"~i'm really not as bitter as i sound). And although i sometimes think i want a medical history (especially given my medical problems~what i don't know and what i do know is one of the many reasons i have chosen not to have my own children) But i have also always had the sense that not knowing gives me the freedom to not be limited by my own genetics, as unreasonable as that is. But why should we expect feelings to be rational.

The book, however, is well worth reading and gives you a glimpse into something that has often remained hidden.

let's hear it for fact checking

so, i've noticed that almost all of my tales lately have been mainly retold tales from books~i'm not sure what that means. Do i have nothing going on in my life or just nothing to say? Well mostly i have much pain, eratic sleep and watching the idiot box (mostly movies which give me strange dreams and that new Showtime series Meadowlands {strange dreams there as well} as well as, dare i admit it, Hell's Kitchen and Age of Love~an entirely other story on that insulting and bizarre show {is it just me or does Mark Philippoussis seem completely boring and lame~yeah, WHAT a catch}but maybe another time . . .)Anyway here's a library story i've been contemplating for quite some time if you have any interest whatsoever:

Gilbert library to be first to drop Dewey Decimal

Yvonne Wingett The Arizona Republic May. 30, 2007 12:00 AM

When the new Gilbert library opens next month, it will be the first public library in the nation whose entire collection will be categorized without the Dewey Decimal Classification System, Maricopa County librarians say.

Instead, tens of thousands of books in the Perry Branch library will be shelved by topic, similar to the way bookstores arrange books. The demise of the century-old Dewey Decimal system is overdue, county librarians say: It's just too confusing for people to hunt down books using those long strings of numbers and letters. Dewey essentially arranges books by topic and assigns call numbers for each book.

"A lot of times, patrons feel like they're going to a library and admitting defeat because they don't understand Dewey Decimal and can't find the book they're looking for," said Marshall Shore, adult service coordinator for the Maricopa County Library District and driving force behind the idea. "People think of books by subject. Very few people say, 'Oh, I know Dewey by heart.' "

Libraries are trying to adapt to changing times, experts said, and their success lies in a generation of young people who are more comfy at Borders than libraries. Across the U.S., some libraries are trying to lure readers by adding lounge chairs and coffee shops.

Some are incorporating the "bookstore" shelving system into sections of libraries but still use Dewey, or other classification systems, to arrange the bulk of collections, said Leslie Burger, president of the American Library Association.

The books in Gilbert's new library will be organized in about 50 sections, then subsections, from sports to cooking, gardening to mysteries. For example, a book on the Civil War would be in the history neighborhood and in the U.S. section.

"Nowadays, people are used to going to a bookstore to browse, so we're just trying to create that same atmosphere," Shore said.

"I know Dewey fans are out there. But we haven't changed a lot in so long, and I think we're in a fight for our own survival."

Okay, here are a few of my thoughts on this: first of all, this is hardly "the first public library in the nation whose entire collection will be categorized without the Dewey Decimal Classification System" some public libraries (about 20%) use Library of Congress, some use Bliss, some use Dickinson, and some use their own creations. I also take issue with the fact that people find things so much easier to find in bookstores, perhaps in those areas that you are familiar with and usually browse; but, having been a bookslave in a large bookstore i can tell you that a) customers often had to ask where books were and b) the bookstore where i worked had its own numerical classification system (which we didn't share with the customers because it would mean nothing to them) that we would use to know where to shelve~rather than just sticking in a general subject area where it seemed to belong (we needed those computers to tell us the area often~just like we librarians look up Dewey numbers.) When we tried to add directional, subject-related, signs to help customers find their own way that just confused them further. I don't think we have ever required customers to know their Dewey numbers~if they do that's a bonus~but everyone could use a little help from someone who knows their way around occasionally~and every system needs some kind of classification system just to be organized whether that system be opaque or transparent. We'll see how it goes...

I don't have a problem with this library's plan, just their assumptions. And helping the customer find something is just a matter of customer service~something we librarians are often weak on. Better customer service often results in higher circs and greater public relations, and who can argue with that? (perhaps we should make books more difficult to locate but easier to browse?...maybe not)

On another subject, or perhaps the same subject, my library is contemplating a huge makeover, something a little like this. However WE will still be using Dewey. I'm excited about the possibility, does that make me hypocritical? All is still dependent on the Administration and the budget. We'll see how that goes...

dead-end jobs & boxes of wine

So here i am, drawn to yet another story of a bookstore worker, this time it's Elaine Viets' amateur detective (and running from the law, unlucky in love) character Helen Hawthorne in Murder Between the Covers. Apparently Helen's bookstore gig is her second "dead-end" type job in the Fort Lauderdale area (she is forced to take such positions~and be paid under the table~due to her being in hiding from both the courts and her ex-husband) I suppose some of us bookstore workers should have caught on to the whole dead-end aspect a whole lot sooner than we did (or at least admitted to ourselves the truth that we already knew).

I'm not usually a voracious reader of mysteries though i have read my share in the past and this one is at least enough to keep one entertained~it seems as if all the elements of the typical mystery are there (all the characters both unsavory and savory, and a few well-intentioned misleads for good measure), as well as all the elements of the typical bookstore. Not quite
enough to sell me on the whole series, though i might want to go back and read the first one to see if it will shed any more light on Helen's situation (perhaps exactly what led her to run~although i often seem to be looking for more backstory than is given). Probably a good quick read for a mystery lover.

"on the edge of disarray"

Mosquitoes' lives may be ephemeral, their deaths almost always brutal. But during their transitory span, absolutely nothing will stand in the way of their two formidable guiding desires: to soak up human lifeblood, and to reproduce.

~A Mosquito's Life, J.R. Churin, 1929

Fiona Sweeney, the American librarian, in The Camel Bookmobile believes that books offer "vicarious tastes of infinite variety," and it is those vicarious tastes that she would like to bring to the plains of Africa with her. The author, Masha Hamilton, also does an excellent task of bringing some of those tastes to this single novel. The novel is told from the perspective of a number of different people: Scar Boy (a boy scarred by a hyena at the age of three); his father the drum maker; the American librarian; an African librarian who administers the library that sends the books to the villages; a teacher of the African village of Mididima; his wife; a girl of the village who longs for the wider world; and her grandmother. Hamilton does a deft job of giving each of these people their own, unique voice.

The people of Mididima speak in metaphor and simile~metaphor and simile that tastes of a connection with the earth. When Hamilton describes the drumming, singing, and dancing that the men perform each night within the kilinge, i was taken back to one of the best New Year's Eves i ever had. My drummer boyfriend and i went over to another musician's house where we all had drums of one type or another and we spent hours in a drum circle creating our own rhythms, music, and worlds with just the beats of drums. I drummed (for the first and only time) even though my hands and body grew tired and ached. And within that circle i imagined the history and future of life the universe and everything. It was like a wonderful trip without the aid of hallucinogenic drugs.

The teacher, educated in Nairobi, like his father, but still a son of the land understands the vaporous nature and imprecision of words. As an interesting corollary to the Western world the Mididimans see the bible as containing interesting stories while believing in the truth of their own "mythology". They understand the world as being under the dominion of the "hundred legged one" (derived from the rays of the sun).

The African librarian, Mr. Abasi, was educated in London and chose his profession because he wished to do as little work as possible (what a coincidence, that's exactly why i became a librarian, NOT). He speaks with derision of the semi-nomadic people of the Kenyan plains.

Fiona is idealistic and has dreams of bringing literacy and hope to people who have none, people who see cities where their boys will become street-sweepers and their girls will become street-sleepers.

Fiona's ambitions seem to be failing when "Scar Boy" either loses or refuses to return two of the books he has borrowed which threatens to halt the visits of the camel bookmobile. Some people of the village do not want the visits to continue though they do not wish to be dishonored through failing an agreement.

The life of mosquitoes and their habits seem to figure prominent in this story. Quotes from various entomologist studies and other thoughts about these insects who have feasted on dinosaur blood to those who inhabit the planet today open each section of the book. In this manner their brief lives parallel those living in the arid bushlands of Kenya. Ultimately this is an evocative, haunting, and enduring tale of the clash between cultures which many never be resolved. The voices of the book stay with you long after you have closed it.

keeping Austin weird

Austin, Texas is a pretty hip, happening and interesting place (all my friends have told me so~and hey, MTV filmed a Real World there so how can you go wrong with that?!?~okay, so sarcasm doesn't play so well in print.) Did you know Austin has the largest urban colony of Mexican free-tailed bats in the world? (i didn't until i read The Good Ghouls Guide to Getting Even by Julie Kenner and tho you can't always believe everything you read this is apparently true.) It is also home to Beth Frasier strait A student, current front-runner for class valedictorian and newly-made vampire (made by a brain-dead vampire jock~her words not mine)~and she is incredibly pissed about the whole undead thing (although there is apparently a way she can become un-undead again~who knew?).

This book is one of those new breed of fun, fearless (and more fun than fearful) vampire hunting vampires young adult novel (is there really such a new breed or did i just make that up?) that made great reading for this adult (or at least that's my age classification if not my appropriate behaviour!).

*and here's a little tip just in case you ever find yourself in the same position as Beth and find yourself wanting to function during the daytime (because of course you fall into the very deep sleep of the dead every day at sunrise and stay that way until sunset) wear an extra dark, extra large (but ever so fashionable) hoodie; crush up a bunch of vicodin to mix in with your blood packs (obtained from a blood bank or hospital because you have well-connected medical professional friends, but of course) and you'll be buzzing through the day. Beth was afraid she would be the first vampire in history to overdose on caffeine pills. I can relate to that, i remember being eighteen and driving back from Disneyland with my Mom, little sister, and best friend at the time. It was the middle of the night, we were driving through the Nevada desert which looked like a completely alien landscape i had taken loads of vicodin to stay awake so that BestFriend and i could trade off at the wheel and i could feel my life slipping away with the overpounding of my heart. I had my head leaning on the window, feeling the pounding of my heart, the grinding of the road, and somewhere in the very far, far away distance my mother who was in the backseat trying to sleep was asking me to turn down the music. "Mom, can't you see i'm concentrating on trying not to die here, the damn music is not my biggest priority right now..."

waking up in the wrong life and living in a FROG

This may come as a big surprise, but, Life's a Beach by Claire Cook makes great beach reading (if i still had the time and inclination to lie about on a beach insuring my future skin cancer). Ginger is single at forty-one (well not entirely single, she does have an artist boyfriend named Noah whose commitment issues are so extreme that he has a complete aversion to phoning her up and letting her know he might want to come over~opting instead to throw pebbles at her window); she lives at the end of her parents' driveway in a "Finished Room Over the Garage" (which everyone insists on calling a FROG, much to her great annoyance) with her cat which She insists on calling Boyfriend (who she also takes for walks in his "kitty stroller"; and she is trying to make it as a sea-glass-jewellery artist after many other failed career false starts. I checked this book out after i read a rather favorable review and thought i might have noticed a slight similarity to my own life.

I'm happy to report that the similarity was much slighter than i had at first thought (she was a little less together than me~believe it or not~or maybe i'm just that much more delusional); however the book was highly entertaining and relateable nonetheless. It also had the added bonus of discovering a new (to me) phobia name~MYRMECOPHOBIA=fear of ants and a new vocalist, Eva Cassidy. Also a wonderful new phrase: velocity of ferocity which lead me to montrocity of ferocity or curiousity~hey sometimes it's the little things that thrill me.

"Some of the best times happen when you get lost."

"Every Parting is a Foretaste of Death"

The Soldier

Down some cold field in a world unspoken

the young men are walking together, slim and tall,

and though they laugh to one another, silence is not broken;

there is no sound however clear they call.

They are speaking together of what they loved in vain here,

but the air is too thin to carry the thing they say.

They were young and golden, but they came on pain here,

and their youth is age now, their gold is grey.

Yet their hearts are not changed, and they cry to one another,

‘What have they done with the lives we laid aside?

Are they young with our youth, gold with our gold, my brother?

Do they smile in the face of death, because we died?’

Down some cold field in a world uncharted

the young seek each other with questioning eyes.

They question each other, the young, the golden-hearted,

of the world that they were robbed of in their quiet paradise.

~Humbert Wolfe

I remember reading somewhere recently that some of the youth of today think they are living in the worst of times. I fear maybe they are unaware of history (or maybe it’s just a matter of thinking your own problems are worse than anyone else’s?~it's all in the perspective). I never did see the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, and i can’t remember if it was something i really wanted to see or not, but i’m glad there was nothing to corrupt my reading of Louis de Bernières’ novel Corelli’s Mandolin. De Bernières writes with a lyrical wit and at the end of my reading i found my book riddled with highlighting marks.

Corelli's Mandolin is set on the idyllic Greek island of Cephallonia spanning from the early years of World War II to the mid 1990s (and though many readers seem to think the first hundred pages of this book were slow going, i found them to be a beautiful construction of the characters who will soon take over your heart and soul). Soon the island is occupied by the Italian forces and a certain Captain Corelli who starts to fall in love with the beautiful and willful Pelagia. The feeling is definitely mutual, though Pelagia is engaged to another.

De Bernières weaves together many voices to tell his story, and this book does not make for entirely easy reading. It is a very literary novel and i found myself consulting the dictionary quite often~rather unusual for me. I have been working on it for quite some time (slipping in a few other reads now and then~my neurologist has also been playing around with my migraine meds~a little chemistry experiment really, to see if maybe she can make my head stop hurting~and i think it has zapped my concentration a bit~and perhaps my attention span, and maybe i am getting even more tangential than usual, as evidenced by this whole parenthetical train of thought...). But today, a little more than halfway through, i found myself glued to the spot, unable to put it down. It's funny (or perhaps not so funny~maybe sad) how i can be reading a book set during a war and suddenly be rather surprised by the brutality and ugliness that it contains~and it seems a bit ironic that as i was reading it, just as things were at their worst, i was hearing fireworks outside, bombs bursting in air~at first i thought the imagery was miraculously powerful before i realized what day it was.

I was definitely crying at the end of this story. I sometimes wonder if we are truly crying for the characters we have come to know and love or if we are crying for some part of ourselves.

"History repeats itself, first as tragedy, and then again as tragedy."

You should read this book.

does this really surprise Anyone?

You Would Be a Pet Cat

Independent and aloof, you don't like to be dependent on anyone. And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don't care. You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands. Why you would make a great pet: You're not needy or greedy... unlike other four legged friends. Why you would make a bad pet: You're not exactly running down to greet people at the door What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody. And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

an ode to the counter life

In The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop: a memoir, a history Lewis Buzbee manages to evoke the first discovery/infatuation of books for those of us who later became obsessed by them. I could relate to so much of his description his childhood~memories of the Scholastic Weekly Reader and all those books i wanted to order but Mom would only let me buy a few (if only i had more of her moderation now).

Though Buzbee worked in bookstores and also as a publisher's sales rep he still visits bookstores of every kind and with every chance he gets. When he does so, he describes it with the love and awe that i remember having before becoming the "bibliocareerist" that i am today, and that i fear i've lost. It was wonderful to read about it and remember.

Buzbee also gives a wonderful history of booksellers and bookprinting that is interesting and gives details that i either didn't learn or have forgotten from my History of the Book and Printmaking (or whatever that class was called~i don't even remember) in Library School. He also makes a wonderful proposal:

"a two-year mandatory retail service for all citizens and legal residents. no amount of family money or influence, or college dedication, would relieve you from this service. Mandatory; no exceptions. Only the luck of the draw would put you to work in a record store or a bookstore; the rest would have to work in the food industry (tho Buzbee himself has never worked in the food industry~as i have~if he had he would know it is an entirely different beast) or at the Gap (some might prefer this option), or heaven forbid, Wal-mart.

* * *

The benefits of mandatory retail service are, I think many sided. The bank accounts of parents putting their children through college would be far less depleted by cell-phone charges, drinking games and trips to Europe, these liberated funds could be invested to support our failed and failing corporations. Social Security coffers would grow. Because retail employees learn firsthand about the basic tools of business, colleges and universities would be able to restaff humanities departments with the money saved on accounting courses. (i'm not so sure about that) Sales of sturdy shoes would skyrocket.

The greatest benefit to my little plan would be in the creation of a truly kinder and gentler nation. Imagine that every American citizen had at one time worked in retail, and you might glimpse the possibility of a future in which all us, participating in our national pastime, shopping, would have more patience. We would understand that items are sometimes out of stock and life does continues, that service without a smile is still service, that getting rid of your small change is not one of life's more laudable goals, nor is cashing out a speed trial."

Love the idea (of mandatory retail service)~as unrealistic and unpractical the issues of carrying out such a plan may be...

I really enjoyed reading this book, especially his recommendations of bookstores to visit on the West Coast and Paris. I was a bit disappointed in his admitted "undereducation" of stores in the Midwest or East coast as it marred his modern history just a touch with the over thirty-year history of (what has BECOME) a chain near and dear to my heart (tho i'm more than a little bitter about the whole chain/corporate aspects of it all~because that's not quite how it started out~but what can we do?) He also missed the small city that has the highest number of bookstores per capita, but other than those (very) small issues i loved the book...

runescape & heroin

for the past week or so, on one of my public library discussion groups, people have been debating the comparison between runescape (and other video/computer games) with various addictions most notably heroin (since most people seem to think, erroneously~by the by~that it the most addictive substance). Some of our ranks quite vehemently disagreed as the physiological component of addiction would be missing (i'm not sure i agree with that entirely~ a) certain chemicals must be present in a person for an addiction~even to a substance such as heroin to "stick" and b) isn't it possible that playing computer games fires off certain neurons that produce chemicals in your brain that could produce a physiological addiction?)

Serendipitously the American Medical Association is debating the same issue:

Video Game Addiction: a New Diagnosis?
By LINDSEY TANNER The Associated Press Thursday, June 21, 2007; 6:22 PM
CHICAGO --

The telltale signs are ominous: teens holing up in their rooms, ignoring friends, family, even food and a shower,
while grades plummet and belligerence soars. The culprit isn't alcohol or drugs. It's video games, which for certain kids can be as powerfully addictive as heroin, some doctors contend.
A leading council of the nation's largest doctors' group wants to have this behavior officially classified as a psychiatric disorder, to raise awareness and enable sufferers to get insurance coverage for treatment.
In a report prepared for the American Medical Association's annual policy meeting starting Saturday in Chicago, the council asks the group to lobby for the disorder to be included in a widely used mental illness manual created and published by the American Psychiatric Association.
AMA delegates could vote on the proposal as early as Monday. It likely won't happen without heated debate. Video game makers scoff at the notion that their products can cause a psychiatric disorder. Even some mental health experts say labeling the habit a formal addiction is going too far.
Dr. James Scully, the psychiatric association's medical director, said the group will seriously consider the AMA report in the long process of revising the diagnostic manual. The current manual was published in 1994; the next edition is to be completed in 2012.
Up to 90 percent of American youngsters play video games and as many as 15 percent of them - more than 5 million kids - may be addicted, according to data cited in the AMA council's report.
Joyce Protopapas of Frisco, Texas, said her 17-year-old son, Michael, was a video addict. Over nearly two years, video and Internet games transformed him from an outgoing, academically gifted teen into a reclusive manipulator who flunked two 10th grade classes and spent several hours day and night playing a popular online video game called World of Warcraft.
"My father was an alcoholic ... and I saw exactly the same thing" in Michael, Protopapas said. "We battled him until October of last year," she said. "We went to therapists, we tried taking the game away. "He would threaten us physically. He would curse and call us every name imaginable," she said. "It was as if he was possessed."
When she suggested to therapists that Michael had a video game addiction, "nobody was familiar with it," she said. "They all pooh-poohed it."
Last fall, the family found a therapist who "told us he was addicted, period." They sent Michael to a therapeutic boarding school, where he has spent the past six months - at a cost of $5,000 monthly that insurance won't cover, his mother said.
A support group called On-Line Gamers Anonymous has numerous postings on its Web site from gamers seeking help. Liz Woolley, of Harrisburg, Pa., created the site after her 21-year-old son fatally shot himself in 2001 while playing an online game she says destroyed his life.
In a February posting, a 13-year-old identified only as Ian told of playing video games for nearly 12 hours straight, said he felt suicidal and wondered if he was addicted.
"I think i need help," the boy said.
Postings also come from adults, mostly men, who say video game addiction cost them jobs, family lives and self-esteem.
According to the report prepared by the AMA's Council on Science and Public Health, based on a review of scientific literature, "dependence-like behaviors are more likely in children who start playing video games at younger ages."
Overuse most often occurs with online role-playing games involving multiple players, the report says. Blizzard Entertainment's teen-rated, monster-killing World of Warcraft is among the most popular. A company spokesman declined to comment on whether the games can cause addiction.
Dr. Martin Wasserman, a pediatrician who heads the Maryland State Medical Society, said the AMA proposal will help raise awareness and called it "the right thing to do."
But Michael Gallagher, president of the Entertainment Software Association, said the trade group sides with psychiatrists "who agree that this so-called 'video-game addiction' is not a mental disorder."
"The American Medical Association is making premature conclusions without the benefit of complete and thorough data,"
Gallagher said. Dr. Karen Pierce, a psychiatrist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital, said she sees at least two children a week who play video games excessively.
"I saw somebody this week who hasn't been to bed, hasn't showered ... because of video games," she said. "He is really a mess."
She said she treats it like any addiction and creating a separate diagnosis is unnecessary.
Dr. Michael Brody, head of a TV and media committee at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, agreed. He praised the AMA council for bringing attention to the problem, but said excessive video-game playing could be a symptom for other things, such as depression or social anxieties that already have their own diagnoses.
"You could make lots of behavioral things into addictions. Why stop at video gaming?" Brody asked. Why not Blackberries, cell phones, or other irritating habits, he said.

interesting, aye?

a Midsummer Night's wish

Every culture has, at some point in its history, marked the time of Midsummer and held it to be enchanted.

The Celts, the Norse, and the Slavs believed that there were three “spirit nights” in the year when magic abounded and the Otherworld was near. The first was Halloween, the second was May Eve, and the third was Midsummer Eve. On this night of all nights, fairies are most active. As the solstice sun rises on its day of greatest power, it draws up with it the power of herbs, standing stones, and crystals. In the shimmering heat-haze on the horizon, its magical energies are almost visible.

The cold dark days of winter and blight are far away, and the time of light and warmth, summer and growth, is here. We naturally feel more joyful and want to spend more time in the open air. The crops are planted and growing nicely, and young animals have been born.

Midsummer is a natural time of celebration.

~Anna Franklin
Midsummer: Magical Celebrations of the Summer Solstice

So it was an okay time at work tonight, i had the pleasure of kicking out a mother and her children (regulars) for the boys continued misbehaviour. As i said, this mother and her boys come in often and the mother gets on the computer and browses and the boys run about causing distress and turmoil for everyone~ the mother, of course, does nothing, i try to explain to them what they may and may not do in a library but they are not use to any type of discipline so they do not listen. After i had told them to not run twice, and they had not listened to me twice, i had a patron come up and complain that they had been running around the computer room, being rambunctious, disturbing everyone, and that they had knocked over a couple of keyboards . So i go over to talk to them and when they see me coming they start saying "We know, we know," to which i respond "No, you need to leave."

"What do you mean?" (this shocks them.)

"I mean your mom needs to take you out of the library, I told you a couple of times that you needed to stop running and now i've had a patron complain about you so you are done with the library for the day." the mother is also extremely unhappy, this has ruined her day.

"But it wasn't our fault."

"You need to go."

"Blah, blah, blah"

"You need to go." (as i follow them out the door.)

Earlier i had had my (not) favorite child in (the four-year-old girl who wanders around on her own and follows everyone around, patrons and staff alike, bothering them all equally, and is one of the most controlling people in the world). I asked her, "NotFavoriteChild, is your mom here?" (because she knows she is not allowed in the library without her~at least she had shoes on today, however big and ugly they may have been) "Yes, over there," she waved in the direction of the table Mom was sitting at, and continued to follow our circ supervisor out the door to collect the book drop.

"Well, you need to be with your mom while you're in the library"

This elicits no response but a frown and an intense stare.

"While you are in the library, you need to be with your mom. You know this, NotFavoriteChild."

The frown/pout grows larger.

"You can frown at me if you want to, but you need to go over by your mom."

"But, boooooks..." she whines/pouts/frowns.

Our circ supervisor tells her that if she wants books her mom can get her some, so she stomps over by her mom who has been ignoring the entire situation (then i think she wanders outside.)

Once we had closed and i had ushered (most) everybody out, there was still a rather crunchy hippy-type dude hanging out in our holds area seemingly making notes. I stood (sort-of) patiently watching him for a while before asking him if there was anything i could help him find.

"No, thank you."

(So much for that not-so-subtle message) "Because we are closed..."

"I know." (i always find it interesting when someone tells me that they know something when their actions are demonstrating absolutely no knowledge of whatever they are telling me they know; i've recently discovered that children of a certain age say they know as an automatic response when they have no idea what you are talking about as a time-staller, but Mr CrunchyHippyMan appears to be much older than this certain age.)

"How are you?" he asks me, still standing where he is, in no apparent rush to leave.

Oh, how to answer this question? "Annoyed that you are still here because i really want to go home?" "Puzzled as to Why you are still here and exactly what you are doing and why you seem so calm and cheery about it?" I finally decide to go with a rather drawn out "Fine" (which is a rather unusual answer for me) and hope that he can catch all the undertones that go along with it.

He eventually finishes whatever it is he's doing, returns a borrowed pen to our circ clerk, and saunters out the door. I go to look at the hold books and notice he has written "HAPPY SOLSTICE" on a number of the hold slips. Isn't it lovely to share my celebratory days with these anomalous people (like the woman who had come in earlier asking for a love spell, of a very specific type which she needed immediately because it was Litha and she no longer had any of her books. Now couldn't she have thought of this before, it isn't as if Litha suddenly descended without any warning?)? Aren't i glad to be left in charge of the library while my manager is off cavorting at the ALA conference? (perhaps you can figure out my answer to these questions.)

so what is the point of a psuedonymn, anyway?

First there was James Frey now there's this:

The New York Times June 21, 2007

At Trial, Writer Recalls an Alter Ego That Took Over

By ALAN FEUER

The case of Laura Albert — professionally known as JT Leroy — could be read as a literary cautionary tale, the story of a writer who hid behind her own assumed identity and lost herself while reaching for the truth.
Where there might have been a single life, there were instead a pair:
JT Leroy, addict, androgyne and the acclaimed author of Sarah, a novel of truck-stop prostitution set among the diesel fumes of a West Virginia highway. And then Ms. Albert, a Brooklyn woman living in obscurity who had never been to West Virginia, a writer of such reclusive instincts she required not only a pseudonym, but another personality, to write.
Yesterday, however, the creator and creation, who had lived for years in a sort of double helix, were finally forced together by the self-revealing power of the witness stand. Testifying at her own civil fraud trial in Federal District Court in Manhattan, Ms. Albert told the jury the compelling tale of how — and why — it was that she sought the shelter of her all-consuming nom de plume.
“He was my respirator,” she said. “He was my channel for air. To me, if you take my JT, my Jeremy, my other, I die.”
Stripped of its emotion and labyrinthine literary games, the trial is no more than a contractual dispute. A film production company has sued Ms. Albert, saying that a contract signed with JT Leroy for the rights to make a feature film of “Sarah” should be null and void, for the simple reason that JT Leroy does not exist.
In broad terms, though, the trial has been an oddly highbrow exploration of a psycho-literary landscape filled with references to the imagination’s fungible relation to reality and the bond that exists between the writer and the work. Under questions from her lawyer, Eric Weinstein, Ms. Albert tried to draw what lines she could between the horrors of her childhood and their presence as reflected in her art.
She told the jury she had been sexually abused by a family friend, starting at the age of 3. She was also abused, she said, by her mother’s former boyfriend. She said she had felt responsible for both men’s acts: she thought it was her fault.
As a heavy girl, Ms. Albert was teased in childhood as “Fat Albert,” she told the jury, going so far as to sing for them the television show’s key line: “Hey, hey, hey, Fat Albert!” She said, “I didn’t want my name.”
Traveling one summer in Virginia as a child, she said, she met a trucker who, as she put it, “would give you a dollar and a chocolate for a kiss.” She said the trucker spanked her — that she wanted him to spank her. “He said the word: ‘Are you a bad girl?’ ” she said. “He got rid of the bad. That’s how I wouldn’t go to hell.”
Life at home, meanwhile, was bad enough. Ms. Albert ran away. She landed in the punk scene, in the East Village, with the hustlers and the addicts. This was around the time of her initial trip to a psychiatric ward. She was still in her early teens.
Eventually, she said, her parents sent her to a group home, where she lived as a ward of the state. (She considered Mayor Koch to be her father.) The stories of the girls she met were incorporated later into fiction, not unlike the stories of the punks from Tompkins Square.
Then, in 1989, she moved to San Francisco, where she worked as a maid and a baby sitter and sold her blood in order to survive. She also worked as a phone sex operator and perfected a sultry Southern accent she would later put to use in interviews as JT Leroy, including one, played in court, with Terry Gross, the NPR host.
It was in San Francisco, she said, that she started calling suicide hot lines from a pay phone on the street. Incapable of speaking as herself, she adopted the personas of various teenage boys.
One of those was a tattered runaway from West Virginia, a misfit from an educated family, who was living on the street. His name was Jeremy or Jeremiah: an embryonic version of JT Leroy.
At this point, fractured as it was, Ms. Albert’s psyche seemed to fracture yet again. She had, for months, as Jeremiah, been talking on the hot line to Dr. Terrence Owens, a psychiatrist. When Dr. Owens said he wished to meet, Ms. Albert paid a street waif to appear as Jeremiah, and then went along as his friend and roommate Speedy — which is to say, a patient standing with her alter ego in the third-degree remove of the alter ego’s friend.
Speedy was a character that remained with Ms. Albert even after “Sarah” was released in 2000 to almost instant critical acclaim. When Steven Shainberg, the proposed director of the film, flew to San Francisco to meet JT Leroy, Ms. Albert, in the guise of Speedy, picked him up and whisked him off to an expensive sushi restaurant, where “JT,” played by the sister of Ms. Albert’s former boyfriend, sat there mute throughout the meal, and then stuck Mr. Shainberg with the check.
It is because of such deceptions that the plaintiff in the case, Antidote International Films, has said Ms. Albert committed fraud.
The company’s lead lawyer, Gregory Curtner, confronted her on cross-examination with the fact that she once asked Savannah Knoop, the sister of the former boyfriend, to appear in public as JT.
If the question was devised to fluster the defendant, it failed.
Ms. Albert said: “She became JT. It’s like a trinity. We experienced it. It was as if he would leave me and enter her — I know how it sounds.
“He wanted his own body. He so wanted to be out of me. I wanted this other child I had to be out in the world,” said Ms. Albert, who has a son. “He didn’t like being inside me. He could talk such smack about me.”

But this book seemed to start out as a work of fiction. Authors have often used pseudonyms to author books (and believe it or not i use one for this blog) for whatever reasons and i'm not sure that it constitutes fraud, was Mary Ann Evans committing fraud when she wrote under the pen name George Elliot? Maybe i'm just missing something here...

i never have quite figured these books out...

From the self-same people (Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht) who brought you The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook and all of the many speciality themed "WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbooks" to follow comes The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook: WORK Now i remember seeing this WORST-CASE SCENARIO thingy in the bookstore where i worked when it first came out, and at that time it was shelved in humour, then at some point it was switched to where-ever we shelved the survival books (camping/hunting or some such); and the books that followed were shelved in college life, dating/sex, golf, holidays, travel, wedding guides, or whatever. Now, while i suppose they do offer some valuable information, i'm not sure how much of it one might retain in a truly emergency/crisis situation; and most of them remain mostly humourous/entertaining reads to me (for instance: how many of us will really find ourselves trapped in a lion cage in our daily workaday lives~unless we perhaps worked with lions in our daily workaday lives in which case i think one might already have procedures in place for such scenarios~i don't know; nor do i really forsee many scenarios where one might be interviewing for a job as a neurosurgeon when one lacks all qualifications for such a position and needs to fake one's way through the interview~again i COULD be wrong~and in this case i really hope i'm not~at least i hope those hospital boards check their references on this one!)

In addition to offering advice on how to get (or at least interview for) a job you are not qualified for; tips are also offered for identifying a nightmare workplace (before you start working there); how to disguise a tattoo or piercing (as well as how to fake it for those ultra-trendy jobs); how to deal with nightmare-bosses, co-workers, and customers (i think perhaps more room could be devoted to this section if this were, in fact, a serious work); how to survive the office picnic (and what to do if you become intoxicated); make an impromptu toast; how to survive an office romance; how to make it in tiny spaces (cubies, truck cabs, and tollbooths); how to sneak out of a meeting (the part about crawling under the table is truly inspired...); how to cover your mistakes; what to do when you're caught slacking; how to pretend you are better than you are, and how to avoid downsizing. Then there are the "emergencies" the aforementioned trapped in a lioncage (as well as the bathroom, supply closet, and walk-in freezer); workplace injuries covered are a stapled finger (first remove the staple...), deep-fryer burn (first remove your hand...Really...), and finger cut on Deli slicer; how to retrieve a candy bar stuck in a machine; how to thwart a lunch thief, how to spot a shoplifter (pretty basic if you've ever worked retail); how to remove a tie trapped in the document feeder; how to fix a dented company vehicle; how to restore a shredded document, how to unclog the office toilet without a plunger; how to escape a stockroom avalanche; and how to clean up an aisle spill. Finally they include jargon and the "I Quit" letter. Somewhat entertaining but that's about it.

"A sky that runs like a clock. A world that runs like the sky."

My library classifies The Ordinary as science fiction. I call it fantasy. The back cover says it is a powerful and entrancing tale of magic, science and the mysterious truth that binds them together (so i guess that's somewhere in between?) The author, Jim Grimsley, also calls it science fiction even though it shares the same world with his early fantasy novel Kirith Kirin (though it is not a sequel to that novel). He says that he is

"exploring the interface between a culture that believes in magic and one that believes in science and I ultimately wish to explore the kinds of doubts that arise in each world as a result of the presence of the other. The book presumes that science will eventually explain magic, and thus my own belief that the science fiction designation is earned, if more softly than hardly."

I'm still not sure i agree, but who am i to argue? The novel itself is very interesting (if you can keep all the names and cultures strait) both in the arrogance with which the technologically advanced culture approaches what it considers to be the less advanced culture of Irion, assuming that it will be able to take advantage of all her resources for it's own purposes. Irion is not as easy as it appears and neither is this novel.

&#191but what am i?

I don't know why i continue to feel compelled to read career books~i am actually quite happy in my chosen career~tho i would love to someday support myself through some kind of art (writing, acting, independent wealth, etc...)~i suppose i could currently call it a collection development interest since this is one of my (oh-so-many) buying areas. I always have retained that lingering interest in psychology (after running in terror from it after that semester i tried it on as a major when one of my advising sessions with my acting advisor had taken a wrong turn and i had essentially told them {the acting department} to fuck off but after a semester of hearing people open up and tell me all the problems at parties once they heard i was a psychology major as opposed to saying "ah...interesting...[pause]..." when they heard i was a acting major {not to mention having a psychologist for a mother} so i went running back to the theatre department {general theatre, the acting department didn't want me, oddly enough} tail held firmly between my legs) and personality types (like those weirdo theatre types, right?~and of course now i sit behind a reference desk listening to people open up and tell me all their problems... hmmm...)

Anyway...Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type Revised and Updated by Paul D. Tieger & Barbara Barron uses the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to try and determine what career people will find the most fulfilling and satisfying. This is not a new concept, i took the Myers-Briggs Test back in college as part of their career counseling program to help me determine my career path; i also took it at a State Employment Center. The authors (and pretty much everyone else who talks about MBTI) state that personality type is inborn and stays with us for life and though i usually come out to be an INTP, which describes my personality somewhat; often when i take the test dimensions of it fluctuate so that i have come out as ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ, INFP, (basically everything fluctuating except the N~iNtuition part). Perhaps this has to do with the length of the test~perhaps it has to do with the strength to which i express each preference~perhaps it is my usual strangeness/uniqueness~i don't know. I have talked to others who also change over time, so just a small disclaimer here. Also, my profession, which i believe fits me quite well does not fit any of the personality types that describe me, so what is that about?

The book describes the four basic dimensions of personality type: Extroversion- -Introversion, Sensing- -INtuition, Thinking- -Feeling, and Judging- -Perceiving. If you do the math on this it gives you sixteen possible personality types (which some people take VERY seriously). The book doesn't offer a test but rather descriptions to let you decide where you fall. It describes strengths and possible blind spots, it also tells you which are your dominant functions and which are your auxiliary functions (if we are assuming i am an INTP my hierarchy of functions is 1) Thinking; 2) Intuition; 3) Feeling {opposite of #2}; and finally 4) Sensing {opposite of #1}).

After this basic introduction to the Myers-Briggs Personality Type the authors go on to the job chapters which include profiles of people in jobs which fit their personality types and why those careers work for them. These chapters also describe what careers satisfaction factors to look for and popular occupations in different areas (creative/arts; education/counseling; religion; health care; organizational development; and technology) as well as how to use your strengths in your job search/career. (Librarian is listed under ISFJ~Sensing being the one thing that doesn't see-saw in me. And people always tend to always think of librarians as introverted~while i admit that many are~Public Librarians have the word PUBLIC in their very title, (come on people (and i'm talking to librarians here too) this is a job where you have to actually INTERACT with people. The authors do concede that there are successful people in every occupation.)

teeheeheeheehee....

Now here’s a lovely sentiment: I’d Really Like to Eat a Child by Sylvianne Donnio • Illustrated by Dorothée de Monfreid (don't you ever just get to feeling that way [like when the little darlings are running about the library making lots of loud, annoying kiddie-type noises crashing into other patrons and library displays and such; and their parents are wandering about {or surfing the internet} blithely ignoring their responsibilities~makes a librarian want to rampage...]?). Achilles is a baby crocodile whose mother brings him bananas to eat each and every morning (every time complimenting him on how big and handsome he is becoming~and with such beautiful teeth... "how true" he often thinks to himself, but he is growing Awfully tired of those bananas...)~he would Really like to eat a child.

"Children don't grow on banana trees," his mother chides (silly, silly boy) Papa Crocodile brings him a giant sausage, but, of course, that is no good. Mama and Papa make him a giant chocolate cake, but What Are They Thinking? He Really Wants to eat a Child! The ending is truly wonderful (and no children are eaten~just in case you're wondering {tho a child does make an appearance~and no, the child does not win Achilles over through charm~that would NOT be my kind of story, in case you didn't know!})