this is NOT a post ~ this is how i feel ~ tonight

once again i am up in the night. Can’t sleep. Can’t think. Can only roll with the waves, be pulled by the pain, wait for the oh-too brightness of day—and sleep…

Wreck Of The Day
Driving away from the wreck of the day
And
the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of
hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then
I'm giving up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I'm thinking 'bout
calling on Jesus
'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love
I'm just falling to pieces

And if this is giving up then I'm giving
up
If this is giving up then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On love

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my
resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of
the day
And it's finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my
way home to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving
up
If this is giving up, then I'm giving up, giving up
On love, On
love

~Anna Nalick

Kyoto Song

A nightmare of you
Of death in the pool
Wakes me up at quarter to three
I'm lying on the floor of the night before
With a stranger lying next to
me
A nightmare of you
Of death in the pool
I see no further now than
this dream
The trembling hand of the trembling man
Hold my mouth
To
hold in a scream

I try to think
To make it slow
If only here is
where I go
If this is real
I have to see
I turn on fire
And next
to me
It looks good
t tastes like nothing on earth
It looks good
It tastes like nothing on earth
Its so smooth it even feels like skin

It tells me how it feels to be new

It tells me how it feels to
be new
A thousand voices whisper it true
It tells me how it feels to be
new
And every voice belongs
Every voice belongs to you

~The Cure

Catch

Yes I know who
you remind me of

A girl I think I used to know
Yes I'd see her
when the day got colder
On those days when it felt like snow

You know I even think that she stared like you
She used to just stand there and stare
And roll her eyes right up to
heaven
And make like I just wasn't there

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl
was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch
her
But I never even caught her name

And sometimes we would spend the night
Just
rolling about on a floor
And I remember
Even though it felt soft at the
time
I always used to wake up sore

You know I even think that she
smiled like you
She used to just stand there and smile
And her eyes
would go all sort of far away
And stay like that for quite a while

And I remember she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes
try to catch her

But I never even caught her name
Yes I sometimes even tried to catch her
But I never even caught her
name

~The Cure

and now i hear the birds singing, bird songs are my death