Last Friday morning i had a horrid time getting out of bed--i woke up with a sore throat and a headache (and, perhaps needless to say, a Bad Attitude), etc, etc, etc. Somehow i finall
y got myself out of bed and dragged myself to work, but once i got there i had a HUGE Paranoia attack~i was convinced that no-one liked me~everyone hated me~i sense a song coming on here but i'm too depressed to sing it~i was completely Out of The Loop~and from there it was a matter of cycling~in very rapid bipolar (by the hour) cycles~now, as i think i've mentioned before, i'm a double depressive, and if i were to suddenly start showing paranoid schizophrenic tendencies i think they might have manifested before now~though the whole delusional thing Can be a part of depression~i AM currently on all my meds.
y got myself out of bed and dragged myself to work, but once i got there i had a HUGE Paranoia attack~i was convinced that no-one liked me~everyone hated me~i sense a song coming on here but i'm too depressed to sing it~i was completely Out of The Loop~and from there it was a matter of cycling~in very rapid bipolar (by the hour) cycles~now, as i think i've mentioned before, i'm a double depressive, and if i were to suddenly start showing paranoid schizophrenic tendencies i think they might have manifested before now~though the whole delusional thing Can be a part of depression~i AM currently on all my meds.Anyway, i'm sure i was tons of fun to work with~i'm not sure where any of it was coming from...
MAYBE...
Our library system is contemplating librarian reassignments (any librarians that have been at their
current library for more than five to seven years are up for consideration~now i've been at MY current library for about eight and a half years~so what do you think~am i a possible candidate?)
MAYBE...
Our library system is contemplating librarian reassignments (any librarians that have been at their
current library for more than five to seven years are up for consideration~now i've been at MY current library for about eight and a half years~so what do you think~am i a possible candidate?)
Now there are many reasons why i might want to move to another library: the teen "problem"* and its inherent noise; that fact that my current library is not conveniently located to my house. Perhaps the fact that within the last six months we have gotten a new manager and that within the last year we've gotten a new youth services librarian means that our library has gone through significant enough changes in and of itself?*The other day when the latest gang fight broke out (off of the library grounds, i must hasten to add, though these particular kids had been in the library earlier) and our officer had to break it up then search some car associated with one of said gang members (we're talking 13-15 year-olds here) he discovered a gun and told all of the associated kids that they were not allowed back in the library until they brought their parents in with them. The COPs (Community Officers on Patrol) then came in and told us that we (as librarians, i suppose) were not being strict enough with the kids, that we should block off ALL access to MySpace, not allow any of the gang-associated kids in (or preferably any kids), blah, blah, blah... ~and i'm thinking, "any of OUR kids could have guns at any time, and all of them are SOMEHOW associated with a gang, that is just a fact of life 'round here, we can't NOT let them ALL in (though i'm sure there are many besides just the COPs who would love that)"~and then i'm thinking, "GANGS and GUNS~is this everyday libraryfare for EVERY Librarian? maybe it IS time for reassignment...
One of my considerations is our team here: i like my manager, i like most of my coworkers. My very favorite co-librarian is my biggest conundrum. She is so wonderful in some ways it is difficult to be 
on her team (how do you make contributions to a team when one of your members absolutely luminesces? it is almost like being a fifteen watt bulb trying to be seen in the light of the sun) Now, in no way am i trying to compete with her, nor is she trying to outshine anyone~it just so happens that she does by her very nature~and everyone gravitates toward her: patrons, kids, library workers, etc (such being the nature of stars). Jealousy is not really an issue either because she is incredibly gracious, humble, and modest just plain likable. Given such a situation what's a creative, competent, yet incredibly flawed and mortal rampaging librarian to do (also given the fact that she herself doesn't want to leave behind this particular librarian because she could learn a few things from her~and did i mention how very likable she was?)
and, of course change is Always difficult...
perhaps a smaller, quieter, more conveniently located library would help my migraine situation (and if so perhaps i could add that financially needed but currently physically impossible ten extra hours to my schedule)
on her team (how do you make contributions to a team when one of your members absolutely luminesces? it is almost like being a fifteen watt bulb trying to be seen in the light of the sun) Now, in no way am i trying to compete with her, nor is she trying to outshine anyone~it just so happens that she does by her very nature~and everyone gravitates toward her: patrons, kids, library workers, etc (such being the nature of stars). Jealousy is not really an issue either because she is incredibly gracious, humble, and modest just plain likable. Given such a situation what's a creative, competent, yet incredibly flawed and mortal rampaging librarian to do (also given the fact that she herself doesn't want to leave behind this particular librarian because she could learn a few things from her~and did i mention how very likable she was?)and, of course change is Always difficult...
perhaps a smaller, quieter, more conveniently located library would help my migraine situation (and if so perhaps i could add that financially needed but currently physically impossible ten extra hours to my schedule)
oh what to do, what to do~if indeed i have any choice in the matter~perhaps 'tis better just to leave it in the hands of the powers that be...
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