So I was driving home tonight--distressed, disgusted, mostly just discouraged about the whole O.J. thing and what it means to society as a whole (and if this book comes up in my collection area, which it almost inevitably will, I am then faced with the ultimate Librarian Conundrum of buying or NOT WANTING TO BUY something I am so completely disgusted by--and if I just pass the buck on to the best seller committee is that dereliction of duty?) etc, etc, etc,--migraine--induced by the usual juvenile delinquent crowd--pounding in my head--when good old Adam and the Ants Beat My Guest starts playing on my faithful iPod (which is what is almost always playing in the car). Now Adam Ant in general and certain songs in particular (Beat My Guest being among them) have an almost magical power to produce an Absolute Instant Happy in me (does it Really need mention here that Adam Ant was my One and Only teenage obsession?--speaking of juvenile delinquents--I made it to a Very Respectable Seventeen years old with none of that annoying celebrity crushing and I thought myself almost immune then suddenly...along comes...well you know...)
Anywaaaaay... back to my story: i'm in my car; distressed, depressed, migraining (shouldn't there be some way of saying that that can end in an ess? migrainstressed?) Adam comes on; all the esses just flow away; i'm happy, i'm cardancing, i'm belting out those oh so lovely lyrics, when I find myself thinking to myself:
"Self, isn't it interesting that you are so VERY cheered by the sadomasochistic lyrics of a bipolar has-been (some-not me of course-would say never-was)?"
Very interesting indeed--and don't even get me started on the implications of those afore-mentioned lyrics you must reference the html link I will not repeat them here I will merely belt them out in the privacy of my car flying, down the freeway, and the ironic~that's literary irony not the Alannis sense connection~to the afore mentioned "alleged" (or should that be hypothetical?) wife/girlfriend/woman abuser/killer. Oh well i really don't want to put TOO much thought into THAT, it (the music that is) makes me happy and we must find our joy where we can, while we can--or as we (we being me and a few of my friends) said in high school...
whatever blows your dress up