Crying into the Floor

smell of Beer Soaked Air
Empty Cans,
Half Empty Cans,
Full Cans
moving, knocking, falling
with any movement
which is difficult
Anyway
wedged between a coffee table
and Someone's back
not enough warmth
not enough clothing
not enough knowledge

(or too much)

laughing, crying, shrieking,
Something
Large and Shuddering
Into the Floor
to Muffle the sound
breathing Beer
so much Beer
and not having
Drunk
crying into the Floor
Someone else's Floor.

and Before
it was
Please, Please, Please
Please
it was
Love me
Please Love me
Somehow
it was
wondering
and pain
and ecstasy
it was Please
and biting back tears
and biting back pleasure
it was biting back
and holding in
it was so much
and too full
and on the verge
and it was Please
and it was
Why and
How
and it was
Please
it was almost
Tears and it was almost
Something else
it was almost.

and before
it was getting off early
and sitting at His table
and driving in my car
and sitting on Someone's floor
and moving to the couch
and not speaking and
Not leaving
and being left to
Crash
on Someone else's floor
But
Somewhere
Between the lines
it progressed
and I did not see the
Movement
but I felt it
and it was conversations with the Mirror
in the Bathroom
and it was thinking
No, No, No
while
my body braced
and it was knowing
and wanting
and not wanting
and it had
Been so Long
and it was happening
and it was No
and Please
Please, Please
and almost tears

and after
it was
crying into the Floor

and after
it was wondering
and praying for sleep

and after
it was renewal

and After
it was
"What are you doing here?"
and it was
"sleeping on your floor."
and it was confusion
and it was almost tears
and it was
Someone else's house.

and I cannot wish it did not happen
but I can want More
and it is Please
Please, Please...