Saturday, July 15, 2006

what is eternal torment?

...because i think i'm already there.
Neverending Migraines
in addition to chronic headaches
... hopefully i do not need to explain to you that migraine is not a really bad headache but a genetic neurological disease that produces flare-ups referred to as "Migraine attacks" or "Migraine episodes", which can include such symptoms as moderate to severe headaches, nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light, and/or sensitivity to sound, sometimes migraines are preceded and accompanied by nifty little things called auras which can be visual, aural, smelling things that aren't there, etc. Sometimes you feel like one side of your body has gone numb, or lost vision in one eye, or prickly feelings--all sorts of neurological problems accompany this disease we call migraine--and i've experienced most of them at one time or another.
At the moment i seem to experiencing it all at once, along with the extremes of my allergies, the post-nasal drip which aggravates the sore throat and the nausea, and the vomiting. I am becoming frightened of food, my stomach muscles ache. My neck is sore, my back is sore. In fact all my joints ache--as if they are annoyed at the attention other parts of my body are getting. Blah, Blah, Blah.
(And you would think that, with the amount of food that i eat--very little--and the amount of food that stays in my stomach--even less--that i would be loosing some weight BUT NO--oh well)
In a conversation with my mother the other day, in which i was discussing the possibility of slicing off my head and she was contemplating the consequences of such an action (i.e. Hell/Eternal Torment in her World View) perhaps that wouldn't be my best option. She then was opining that she didn't know what happened to migraines in the afterlife--they probably hung around--huh? I think i'll stick to my agnosticism, thank you very much, there seems to be a little more hope in that.
oh well enough self pity for the moment--there are people out there worse off than me (for whatever that's worth)

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