Friday, January 26, 2007

will this be on the test?

I was watching the Tyra show the other day (yes, okay, i admit it, sometimes i watch Tyra . . . and she was talking about taking tests~AIDS tests, drug screening tests, sobriety tests, etc. Now i, personally, have only taken one sobriety test (other than the ones i have witnessed as a passenger of "suspected" drunk drivers and the neurology tests i've been given which seem remarkably similar to field sobriety tests) but, anyway, the ONE sobriety test that i was subjected to ended in such a strange way that i will be haunted by it for the rest of my life...wondering exactly what happened (and also wondering if i actually passed that damn sobriety test...)
This was about twenty years ago, my friends and i had been pre-gaming (as it is so charmingly called today {we had no such names~we just did it)~tho we did it mostly because you couldn't drink in the repressive 18-and-over club we were going to} then drove to a dance club in the small college town about an hour outside of our city~of course with grain alcohol-spiked big gulps for the drive (don't ask me why we did that~we were just strange little drama college kids who liked to go to different clubs every now and again). So i had, i'm sure, mass quantities to drink over the course of the evening, tho i'm sure i also danced a great deal of it off (as well as vomiting a bit of it away), as well as letting quite a few hours pass. So my friends drove me back to their house, where, after a while, i convinced them, i was fine to drive (which i believed i was). And so i hopped in my car (it was probably about 3:00 a.m. and before heading home, decided to do my usual swing-by the sort-of-an-ex-but-i-was-still-carrying-a-torch-for-him-fling's house (this is a strange obsession that late-teen/twenty-something, sometimes even older, girls do~i've never managed to figure out why~i mean we'd just swing by with no real intention~not really full on stalking, and i speak in the plural because i had many friends who also did it at the time and have talked to others who used to do it, oh well~i AM past that now~REALLY).
This little detour was, of course, my fatal (or perhaps near-fatal, or perhaps just eternally-haunting) mistake. Just as i'm turning onto my once-favorite thorough-fair i see the rather familiar blue and red flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I can't remember what the stated offence was, perhaps i took the left turn a little too swiftly, when asked if i had been drinking i confessed to a few glasses of wine with dinner earlier that evening. When asked what i was doing out so late i said i was checking up on a boyfriend.
I was asked to step out of the car. I remember going through the expected tests. I remember being nervous but i felt like i was doing alright.
Then something unexpected happened.
The officer whipped his head around. Then he asked me, "Did you see that???"
I was at a complete loss. I hadn't seen ANYTHING. The four-lane street we were on was completely empty. I didn't know what the correct answer to this question was. Is this part of the test? I stood there looking at him for what seemed like a full five minutes (it was probably 30 seconds or so) and finally said, "I didn't see anything."
The officer starts running to his car, "Drive safely." he shouts to me, before he jumps in the car and takes off (no lights mind you).
I stood there, alone on the street, next to my car, for a while, wondering what the hell just happened.
I'm still wondering.
*Tyra didn't mention anything about any tests like this on her show.

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