Sunday, December 17, 2006

dear diary

Did you ever keep (or, as in my case, try to keep—actually make that start to keep) a diary? Here's this web blog thing~this is sort of like a diary except for the idea that a diary is supposed to be private and (in theory) there are people who might be reading your blog. Can you imagine writing in your diary and then having people comment on it and the fact that you willingly do it (does that make you an exhibitionist)? I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist to a certain extent~but only in certain circumstances...
I only like to act in front of strangers (or large audiences which MIGHT include family and friends) i always felt odd rehearsing in front of family or friends (and of course acting is pretending to be someone else~you might be quite surprised to learn how many actors fear public speaking or other forms of being themselves in front of others). At the same time i use to practice in my room for the day i would be interviewed (for whatever reason i had become famous or infamous) for my life story or daily comings and goings.
I only like to have my work (writing) read by people who don't know me well. Workshopping classes were no problem but i had problems with friends and others reading my work (and i was once traumatized the only time i let a boyfriend read my poetry and he left my apartment without saying a word) we never did talk about that...
So somehow a blog fits right in with this inhibited exhibitionism of mine. Whether i'm writing here, or in my own journal, or some short story, poetry, my ever-promised novel, or other form of novel, there is some mythical audience out there SOMEWHERE other than myself, or my intimates that i am writing for.
¿who are you?

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